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Monkey Island 5 SUCKS!

posted by Rather Dashing on - last edited - Viewed by 12.4K users
Everyone is talking about Monkey Island 1-4, but few remember to mention fan-favorite "Monkey Island 5". This epic, 40-hour super experience is heralded for having all the features anyone who hates episodes could ever want.

But really, was it all that great?

First of all, it's just a re-tread of everything that has come before. Oh, have to get near-useless crew. How original. Banishing LeChuck's latest form, though admittedly this has become more of a series staple, I thought that they could have come up with better than a "glowy" Zombie LeChuck. I mean, really, what was up with that?

The ending was non-existent! We spend a HUGE chunk of this 40-hour game crafting the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu. We found AGAIN all of these items that were in the other games, from a voodoo doll to the Ultimate Insult(ugh) to defeat LeChuck. And when we find all but the fizzy root beer...the game just ends. Abruptly. I mean, we didn't even get a conclusion until recently in Tales of that story. And while it was an epic ending, to be sure, wouldn't it have been more fitting to leave it in its own game? Surely Monkey Island 5 wouldn't have suffered so much if it didn't completely lack an ending.

Why did we have to go to so much trouble to get a monkey coffin, anyway? It wasn't used in the course of Monkey Island 5, so what is the point of that anyway?

And LeChuck stealing monkies? It's a bit hard to swallow, and this is for a series that can get pretty thick in shtick.

Speaking of LeChuck, even *I* can't believe how he ended up surviving the ending of Escape from Monkey Island.

Monkey Island 5 is a HUGE game, that's to be sure. But if one is to go by quality rather than quantity, it's obvious that it is a severe failure compared to Tales of Monkey Island already.

Yes, this is a play on the whole "After Monkey Island 5" business. Sue me.
262 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • hplikelike wrote: »
    Plus shiping and handling from another dimension.

    I still say they overcharge.

    Not to mention the $50 subscription and monthly credit card payment.
  • Not to mention the $50 subscription and monthly credit card payment.

    Drat! Should have read the fine print! Man, video games just keep getting more complected. First there was 3-D graphics, then motion control, and now you need to hire your own lawyer before you play a game.
  • Lucky for us, LucasArts includes a 10-day-trial period for the mini-lawyer kit included in the box set.
  • I thought the "alien abduction" puzzle was unnecessary too - totally copied from "Life of Brian". And what was up with that killer rabbit?
  • I thought the "alien abduction" puzzle was unnecessary too - totally copied from "Life of Brian". And what was up with that killer rabbit?

    You mean him?


    I expect it was some crossover deal with Ubisoft. You know, like Sonic and Snake in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.

    EDIT: Do I also spy a purple tentacle in that screen shot?
  • Did anyone else get the Limited Edition package? You know, with the three inch plastic model of Guybrush attacking an ATM with a flugelhorn? And the extra multiplayer maps?
  • ^ Nah, I heard it was full of bugs.


    Someone was stupid enough to think bugs would add to the player experience.
  • The multiplayer stuff is an interesting idea, but it's virtually unplayable because of all the lag - possibly because the servers are hosted in a different dimension...
  • Aww, come on. You're just going against the general opinion for the heck of it! *turns around and crosses arms*
  • I really don't like this game. And that's saying something, because I'm a HUGE MI fan.
    First of all, did anyone else hate that the opening credits took like six hours? And you couldn't even skip them! And worst of all, they chose the WORST songs to play while you were waiting for the game to start.
    The part where you go to Llama Island was just ridiculous. There was absolutely no comic relief there. I kept getting stuck at the part where you're at the Grog machine and it kept eating your money. LITERALLY. What was up with that?!
    I kinda liked the part where you got to insult sword fight with Sam and Max, though. That was pure gold. Sam's insults were kinda lame though.
    Right now, I'm stuck at the part where Guybrush lost his wedding ring in the sewer and you have to find it. I don't see it anywhere. Any ideas, guys?
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