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Monkey Island 5 SUCKS!

posted by Rather Dashing on - last edited - Viewed by 8.6K users
Everyone is talking about Monkey Island 1-4, but few remember to mention fan-favorite "Monkey Island 5". This epic, 40-hour super experience is heralded for having all the features anyone who hates episodes could ever want.

But really, was it all that great?

First of all, it's just a re-tread of everything that has come before. Oh, have to get near-useless crew. How original. Banishing LeChuck's latest form, though admittedly this has become more of a series staple, I thought that they could have come up with better than a "glowy" Zombie LeChuck. I mean, really, what was up with that?

The ending was non-existent! We spend a HUGE chunk of this 40-hour game crafting the Cursed Cutlass of Kaflu. We found AGAIN all of these items that were in the other games, from a voodoo doll to the Ultimate Insult(ugh) to defeat LeChuck. And when we find all but the fizzy root beer...the game just ends. Abruptly. I mean, we didn't even get a conclusion until recently in Tales of that story. And while it was an epic ending, to be sure, wouldn't it have been more fitting to leave it in its own game? Surely Monkey Island 5 wouldn't have suffered so much if it didn't completely lack an ending.

Why did we have to go to so much trouble to get a monkey coffin, anyway? It wasn't used in the course of Monkey Island 5, so what is the point of that anyway?

And LeChuck stealing monkies? It's a bit hard to swallow, and this is for a series that can get pretty thick in shtick.

Speaking of LeChuck, even *I* can't believe how he ended up surviving the ending of Escape from Monkey Island.

Monkey Island 5 is a HUGE game, that's to be sure. But if one is to go by quality rather than quantity, it's obvious that it is a severe failure compared to Tales of Monkey Island already.

Yes, this is a play on the whole "After Monkey Island 5" business. Sue me.
262 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • Return to Pirate Heaven and use the Larynx of Pirateship to drain the pipes. Sidenote: Don't feed the Big-Lipped Alligator™ or you'd get caught in its endless singing.

    BTW, I just find out the Guybrush Action Figure that comes with the Collector's Edition is made of candlewax, brown sugar and some uranium-1138. Needless to say, I now have a large glowing puddle of Guybrush. :mad:
  • Oh, thanks! Now I got it!
    Are you talking about the three-headed, big-lipped alligator? Or the regular big-lipped alligator?
  • The two-headed one. The fat one with the lipstick. I think its name was Otto, Boris or maybe Faust. To be sure, don't feed anything while in the sewers.
  • I liked the part where LeChuck and his skeletal army danced the Thriller. I still play that bit over and over again.
  • Meh, that bit's alright, but it leads into an extended chase scene/polka dance number that goes on for far too long and flashes subliminal messages about buying Star Wars merchandise all over the screen.
  • Alf Fly;169281 said:
    Meh, that bit's alright, but it leads into an extended chase scene/polka dance number that goes on for far too long and flashes subliminal messages about buying Star Wars merchandise all over the screen.
    Thanks for warning me: I was just about to buy a 10ft Jar-Jar Binks statue and I didn't know why. You just saved me a whole lot of money.
  • hplikelike;169304 said:
    Thanks for warning me: I was just about to buy a 10ft Jar-Jar Binks statue and I didn't know why. You just saved me a whole lot of money.
    You could also save a lot of money on your car insurence by switching to Geico.
    Sorry, couldn't resist.
  • Maxilyah;169308 said:
    You could also save a lot of money on your car insurence by switching to Geico.
    Sorry, couldn't resist.
    Ah yes, I LOVED the Geico joke in the game. (Actually, what I loved was Guybrush shooting the salamander out of the Grand Cannon after the sales pitch.)

    By the way, what did you guys think of Guybrush visiting real world locations in the game? I think it was cheep when he came to America, but Antarctica was the best Monkey Island location to date!
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