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Pirate Role-Call

posted by nikasaur on - last edited - Viewed by 789 users
What's in a name?

Quite a lot, as we know! It's the difference between Dread Pirate Vasquez of the Black Tide and Flaccid O'Flaherty.

Since the Monkey Island games only follows the story of Guybrush Threepwood, we don't get to learn much about your individual piratey nature. So tell us, who are YOU?

Don your saltiest sea dog accent, equip your sword, board your ship (or someone else's) and share a bit about yourself.
Pick your most Piratey name, and explain why!
40 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • Aw, 'ho dares to speak to C'tn Brownfingers Newton ? T'll be me. Smokin' much. And bitting those little pieces of skin 'round nails - 't makes... Arr, none of yer buisness.
    'n Newton beein' me surname. Kind of. No picaroon came 'rom Poland. Poor harbourmasters, not 'nough shipyards, ya see:
  • Arr, me name's Leopold Rotteneggs, and I wanna be a pirate :eek:
  • Sailor Devil of the Dark Sea
  • I've been giving it thought... I'd be "Twitch" Harper, whose itchy trigger finger and anxious demeanor make her a dangerous crewmate on any ship.
  • arrr. me name be CAptain Skylark. I roam the tri-state area searching for ways to increase me fame.
  • Do you currently suffer from...


    Plank rash?

    Corporeal disembodiment?

    Cranial dismemberment?

    "Grog tremor"?

    Infinitely large pockets?

    If you do, then you may be entitled to a large, cash settlement.

    Cap'n Bob "Bob" Johnson, Esq., is here to get you the money YOU deserve.

    But don't take it from me -- listen to what one of our clients has to say:

    (Actor portrayal, based on actual testimonial.)

    "There I was, mindin' me own business, when outta nowheres, this bloke cut 'is throat on me cutlass. Five times. If 't'weren't for Cap'n 'Bob' fightin' for me large, cash settlement, I'd still be a payin' for me carpal tunnel surgery."

    Cap'n Bob "Bob" Johnson specializes in cases concerning the otherly-swashed.

    Call Cap'n "Bob"... Today!

    Inna sticky wicket?
    "Bob" be your ticket.
    Oar cramp got yer down?
    "Bob"'ll bring 'em aroun'.

    Call semaphore: triangle, cross, half-hitch, eight. That's triangle, cross, half-hitch, eight. Triangle, cross, half-hitch, eight...


    *Results are not guaranteed. Cash advance required in cases of voodoo-related chicanery.
  • Arrr, well, before, I said me pirate name were Haggis McMutton, but that just be the moniker I go by when sailin' out on the intertubes. Now that I be amongst genuine pirate brothers an' sisters though, I feel safe to share me real pirate name.

    Featherhand Goldbeard.

    Aye, that be me name. Featherhand because ye can oft find me with a feather in me hand - I am one of the few (apar' from the cap'n, Mad Dog McGoon) aboard me ship, The Crooked Sloop, tha' can write, so I be the chronicler, writin' down all tha' happens. Also, occasionally, I help out with medical tasks, administerin' rum and sawin' off gangrenous limbs. And aboot me second name, Goldbeard comes from me gorgeous blonde beard, that shimmers in the light o' the sun, when the salty sea air gently caresses me face. Ah, it be good bein' a pirate.
  • Me name is Cpt. Ape Smoothwater, Matey. Aye, THE Ape Smoothwater! Master of squeezy Furballs, Menace of the Seven lakes beyond Imagination, Collector o' Gold, Coffee and aye...builder of the seventh bottle ship of....of.....uh....uhm....oh yeah...Oblivion - THE ONLY ship that ever crossed the gates o' hell and came back (it ran out o' Grog and ya can't dive deep into hell without Grog - it's just so non-pirate-y).
  • I go by the unmemorable name of Celebral Robotic Stinky Piratey Skunk-dog Vibius. Just call me "Celery".
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