The Section They Don't Want You to Know About

TelltaleGamesTelltaleGames Telltale Staff
Greetings to friends and enemies alike. A number of you have written in to tell me that these blogs about adventure games are all fine and good, but wouldn't it be nice if I could provide some juicy behind-the-scenes info about Telltale Games, and even better, maybe write a completely irrelevant story about myself? All I can say is wow, great idea. I wish I had thought of it.

As you will surely know if you read the Telltale News Section (your #2 source for Telltale news), we moved into our new offices this month. In even bigger news (so big, I don't know how it slipped under the radar of the news section), we invented the Internet this morning around 8 a.m. Now, there are certain naysayers who will argue that the Internet had in fact already been invented and we just got our offices wired is all, but don't let them fool you. We invented the Internet fair and square.

What does all this mean to you, the common man, woman, or ape creature? Not much, quite frankly. It does mean that I will actually be able to post updates to the Web site at work, meaning that the frequency of such updates may increase. But then again it may not, as I am now overwhelmingly busy checking the baseball scores at

Another reason that I may not be able to post much is that I nearly choked to death on a rubber duckie today. Someone (or something) covertly slipped the rubber duckie into my box of Goldfish crackers when I wasn't looking, and it was halfway down my throat before I noticed the switcheroo. My near-death experience prompted me to reminisce over the course of my life. Sadly, due to some brain damage incurred in my infancy, I can only remember as far back as yesterday afternoon, so let me tell you what happened yesterday, since it's the best I can do.

Yesterday I went to the library to research our next game. Have you heard about these things? Libraries, I mean? You just show up, take some books, and leave. It's great. Somebody should have thought of this a long time ago. They're so great, it's almost enough to make me start paying my taxes.

While at the library I noticed something rather disturbing -- I can't read. Not the adult books anyway. I tried. Oh, how I tried. I would pull out a book, read a page about radio carbon dating or something, and then pass out in the aisle. Finally, after the paramedics got tired of reviving me, I gave up and went down to the children's section.

Friends, the children's section is where all the excitement is. Now these are books. You want to know how to milk a cow with your feet? Hey, who doesn't, right? Well they can tell you that... in the children's section. You want to know who invented the dreaded rubber duckie? Well they can tell you that... in the children's section. You want to know where all these babies keep coming from? Well they can tell you that... in the children's section.

My time in the children's section was not entirely without incident, though. Since I'm a rather scary looking person (I'm a twelve foot giant), many of the children who saw me ran screaming from the room. To each his own, of course, but personally, I thought it livened up the atmosphere in the library, which had been a bit dour if I do say so myself, and I do.

Methinks we could all stand to spend some more time in the children's section, just soaking in knowledge, and occasionally stealing candy from babies, because it's really the perfect place for it. If the baby starts crying you can just say, "SHH! We're in a library, for Pete's sake!"�

So how does this relate to games? It doesn't, but that's the beauty of blogs, I can say whatever worthless garbage I want and you can't stop me! But I do hope you'll take some time and head down to the children's section at your local library. You'll be glad you did, and more importantly, many children won't be, and what more could you want?
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