Brendan Q. Ferguson Interviews Telltale

TelltaleGamesTelltaleGames Telltale Staff
edited 5:52PM in Blog
Hello everyone, this is Brendan Q. Ferguson reporting to you live from the offices of Telltale Games in San Rafael, California. In honor of our new website, I have chosen today to kick off my series of hard-hitting interviews with Telltale Games employees. Because we are such a hyper-efficient outfit, I have chosen not to waste any time by actually speaking to my coworkers, but have instead tried to capture the spirit of what they would say by making up anything I want. The views expressed within are not necessarily the views of anyone living or dead, not even me.

My first extremely hard-hitting interview was with the man responsible for getting the new website up and running, none other than Telltale COO Troy Molander.

BQF: "Troy, this website rocks the house. Not only my house, but others as well."�

TM: "Thank you so much, Brendan, and by the way, you are looking extremely handsome today."�

BQF: "Aw, shucks."�

Leave it to Troy to give us the scoop on the behind-the-scenes info that you can't find in just any blog.

No interview, though, hits harder than this next one with the man running the show, Telltale CEO Dan Connors.

BQF: "Dan, can you tell us in a few words what makes Telltale such a special company?"�

DC: "No."�

BQF: "That's not the response I expected."�

DC: "It would take at least a thousand words to tell you what makes Telltale so special, or possibly a single picture would do."�

Dan is probably the only person I know who actually inserts links into the things he says aloud.

Next up, I turned the mic to Telltale CTO Kevin Bruner, who managed to conduct the entire interview with his eyes shut.

BQF: "Kevin, what can you tell us about the engineering department at Telltale?"�

KB: "..."�

Kevin has the ability to speak in ellipses, just like Japanese video game characters. How he does this despite being neither Japanese nor a video game character is beyond me.

You can imagine that after so many incredibly hard-hitting interviews, I was ready to take a break by conducting a soft-hitting interview or two. I decided to round up the newest employees of Telltale Games: Jon Sgro, Graham McDermott, and Randy Tudor.

BQF: "So, tell the readers at home a little bit about what you do at Telltale Games, beyond just what it says about you on the Telltale Team page."�

JS: "I do everything that Kevin's supposed to do."�

GM: "I do everything that Kevin's supposed to do."�

RT: "I do everything that Kevin's supposed to do."�

And here I thought this would a soft-hitting interview. Not so!

Finally, my concluding interview, and quite possibly my greatest interview ever, was with popular Telltale pseudo-celebrity, Anonymous Kidnapper.

BQF: "Anonymous Kidnapper, tell us, what have you been doing since you kidnapped me?"�

AK: "Well BQ, as you may recall, after you escaped from my closet, you decided to kidnap me in return. Since then I have been living in a dumpster behind Telltale Games."�

BQF: "Sorry to hear that AK, but you deserved it."�

AK: "Shut up Brendan."�

BQF: "Okay."�

BQF: "..."�

AK: "Fine, start talking again."�

BQF: "No, it's too late."�

AK: "I hate you."�

BQF: *sob*

You don't understand how rare it is to capture that kind of emotional intensity on tape. For a hard-hitting reporter such as me, this is pure gold.

Pure gold.

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