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Why people say "Til death do us Part" at weddings

posted by fusedmass BANNED on - last edited by Jennifer - Viewed by 5.4K users

This is a serious question.

I'd like to believe. If you do care, or love someone. Serious enough to get married. The phrase, till death us part has always bothered me. It's because they are going they're separate way's after death? Why? I like to believe that nothing can separate you and your other.

The thought when you die, you would never see that person again and that's what got me thinking on the "till death" why can't it be "love you now, forever and always".

Perhaps I over think things. I don't like the thought once marriage ends, so does love and the marriage. Its supposed be forever, not limited.

  • This is more of a legalistic line than a poetic one. The line is included so that you're free to re-marry if your spouse dies. No one should feel obligated to spend the rest of their life alone if their spouse dies.

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      fusedmass BANNED

      I don't know how I'd feel. Buried six feet underground being worms for food. While other man was in bed with my ex wife. I guess that makes sense. I kinda consider it a beryral to marry again. You can be with other person, without being married. Therefore not lonely.

  • The line is apparently from the Book of Common Prayer, along with "Speak now or forever hold your peace."

    "'Til death do us part" just means "until death separates us." I think it's more an acknowledgement that death will cause you to not be together anymore (and thus not be able to uphold a lot of what makes up the poem/prayer describing marriage responsibilities, practically speaking), rather than prescribing that death should be the complete end of the marriage.

    Seems a bit selfish though, to suggest that widows should never remarry. If I got hit by a truck at 35 I would hope that my (hypothetical) wife would move on eventually. I'm not going to care if I'm dead, presumably.

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      fusedmass BANNED

      That right there. "till death separates us" most people don't give two thoughts about death and its..dealings. I don't like the fact after death you will no longer be with each other. I thought when you ceased to live in this world, you would rejoin the others in the other realm. The thought you will be separated forever after death a bit scary.

      • It is sad, but acknowledging that endpoint is important to appreciating the value of life. When I ponder this sort of thing, I always go back to a quote from Carl Sagan's wife, Ann Druyan:

        When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me-it still sometimes happens-and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don't ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous-not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance. . . . That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. . . . That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time. . . . That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it's much more meaningful. . . . The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don't think I'll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.

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      Jennifer Moderator

      @LuigiHann wrote:


      Seems a bit selfish though, to suggest that widows should never remarry. If I got hit by a truck at 35 I would hope that my (hypothetical) wife would move on eventually. I'm not going to care if I'm dead, presumably.

      I agree with this wholeheartedly. My dad died at age 54, 13 years ago. My mom is now dating someone but has no intention of re-marrying, but her co-worker lost his wife at the same time at around the same age, and re-married a few years ago. It should definitely be up to the person who lost their spouse as to whether they feel like they should re-marry. Just because you love someone else, doesn't mean you no longer love the person that you lost.

  • Now that I think about it, in my cousin's wedding, I heard a similar wedding vow, except that it ends with "until we are parted by death".

  • My friend and her husband just came up with their own vows, they were beautiful and suited them better than the traditional vows. Also people should think about couples counseling before getting married, promising to stay with a person through the good as well as the bad or death is a very serious declaration. One I think is taken lightly.

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    fusedmass BANNED

    Death due us part, sounds like you are going to break apart, seperated by death. I'd like to think we live with one we love nearly forever, even after our physically body's have left this world. Who wouldn't want to spend the rest of their life with someone they care deeply about.

  • Here's a little secret. When you get married, you can customize your vows any way you like. Some people like to substitute "For as long as you both shall live" so there isn't so much talk of death. Just don't get too cocky and use "Until the Cubs win the World Series," 'cause you never know.

  • The phrase is Christian in nature. It pays homage to the passage," For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh." Mark 10:8. It doesn't make implication to afterlife, just that marriage is a pact/covenant/promise couples make be together for the rest of their lives, or until one dies.

    • You kinda quoted Genesis 2:24 in saying, "This is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one flesh", you know.

      • Actually, its a quote from Mark 10:8, that quotes Gens 2:24. The portion that is in bold type, I believe helps illustrate why only death separates a couple. That portion of text isn't in Genesis.

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