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Do girls like bad guy's better?

posted by fusedmass BANNED on - last edited - Viewed by 3.7K users

I know this debate is as old, as time itself. Yet I find it fun to discover our human nature, why do we do the things we do, even though they seem non rational or not logical. Tell me if you heard this one before.

A football player who has a hot temper, gets in a ton of fights. Somehow manages to date a hot cheerleader. Despite the fact, that he cheats on her, treats her like dirt, and they always seem to be fighting.

She would rather drink a vial of acid before dating a nice guy. (Not all girls are like this..) time goes on. The guy even beats her, maybe they break up, he shows up at her house drunk. They rekindle their romance. While minutes before she cries on phone to "Nice guy" how their aren't any good guys.

My question is simple. What experiences, if any. Had you had with this male or female. Had any experiences with this subject.

Why do they always return to these situation. Albert Einstein said repeating something over and over, expecting a different result is called insanity.

What's your experience?

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    Blind Sniper Moderator

    From what I've seen other people say when talking about this, I don't think it's as much girls wanting "bad guys" as much as it is that they think that "bad guys" take more risks and are more outgoing. It seems to me that being outgoing or having a notable talent would suit someone just as well, even if they are nice. Of course, some people may be shallow and want a "bad guy" just because, but I wouldn't classify the majority as shallow even though it may seem that way sometime. That's my two cents anyways.

  • There are a lot of factors, but basically, women (in general) are attracted to confidence. The bad guys might be jerks, but they are confident, even if that means "full of themselves." Most of the "nice guys" complaining about the jerks are not willing to take risks and ask the girls out correctly (or at all), which is why they never get anywhere.

    There are a lot of (especially teenage) girls with big self-esteem problems, worried that no one will ever really love them when they find out they're as awful as they think they are. They're especially susceptible to the jerks, as they will go along with any guy who is showing interest and then blame themselves when it goes wrong.

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      fusedmass BANNED

      I'd like you to express your point of view. How is the correct way. (in your mind. Be honest, everyone has different vantage point) to ask out girls.

      • Sorry, but my secret is too powerful to disclose publicly. However, I can offer it for the low price of $49.95 (plus $80 shipping and handling). Because I like you, I'll cut the price to only $29.95 (plus $100 shipping and handling). Make ANY woman like putty in your hands. To prevent society from crumbling, I can only offer this to the first 100 guys who respond, though you have no way of verifying that. So send in your money fast before you have a chance to think about it! There is a 90-day satisfaction guarantee, which means if you try my technique for a full 90 days and are not completely satisfied, you can ask for your money back, and I'll tell you it's past 90 days, so tough luck.

        OK, maybe the first tip is not to fall for anything that sounds like the above. You should also ignore all the pick-up artist advice, because that's more about manipulating someone into having sex with you, rather than starting a real relationship. If your technique results in her feeling pressured or bad about herself, then you're not any better than those jerks you're trying to distance yourself from.

        There really is no one correct way to ask a woman out. There are just a lot of incorrect ways. In any social interaction, it helps to look from the vantage point of the person you're talking to, so let's figure out what she wants out of a relationship.

        • She wants to feel safe.
        • She wants to feel special.
        • She doesn't want to be bored out of her mind whenever she's with you.

        So your goal in asking her out is to present yourself as someone who will meet all of these criteria. If you fail even one of these, don't bother.

        But wait, wasn't this about those girls who seem attracted to jerks? How is that feeling safe or special?

        That's actually a case of a controlling relationship. If you are a controller, your goal is to make her feel that you are the best for her even though you treat her like trash. Controllers do this by starting out the same way, being nice in the beginning, but then they turn on her, trying to make her feel like no one else will ever love her for the dirt that she is, and she is damn lucky you tolerate her presence. If you're sleeping with other girls, that's really her fault for not being sexy enough, and she needs to try harder. Controllers don't become nice again unless they feel they are losing their grip, and they take advantage of the principle that people don't like to think that they make wrong decisions, so once they decide something, they keep trying to adapt in a way that makes the initial decision look good. If you're trying to "rescue" a girl who has become trapped in this situation, you have to realize what's at work here, and do more than just tell her that there are nicer guys out there. The controller is working hard to convince her there aren't.

      • First of all, be yourself.

        Don't try to impress a woman by being something you're not. When you try to be attractive/interesting to her by acting a certain way in order to grab her attention, that's not the real you. You are an actor playing a part. That ruse is eventually going to fall apart and she is going to see who you really are. Be yourself from the start and you'll be better off.

        Also, talk to her...a lot. Don't brag about yourself or what you can do. That's being an arrogant prick. Instead, open a doorway to let her talk about herself. You will get to know her better and she will probably appreciate a man that will listen to her rather than boast about his strengths.

        Once you do get to know her better, go ahead and give her compliments and make her feel special. Don't over do it though. That makes you look like you're trying way to hard. Plus, the gorgeous woman you are talking to probably gets hit on by most hot blooded males she comes across. She probably liked the attention from other men telling her she is beautiful at first but has now found it to be rather annoying since every man she dated who threw compliments at her every chance they got is nowhere to be found.

        Women do eventually get tired of hearing jerk after jerk after jerk telling her she's beautiful just so they can "get some then move on". She can probably tell by now if you are being sincere or if you're just another shallow ass chaser trying to get some action so just sprinkle your conversations with small subtle remarks about her appearance. The ladies work hard to look nice by putting on makeup, doing their hair, etc and appreciate it when us men mention that they look nice. So go ahead and tell her you like her hair or her eyes but in moderation. When you do compliment her, mean it. Don't be a fake. Women hate a liar. They won't trust you once you've lied to them once.

        Once you and her know each other well. Casually throw out a "Do you like Italian?" and take her to dinner if she accepts your offer. Be a gentleman and take care of her. Once she sees you are in fact a true gentleman she will be more open to second dates. Don't rush her though. Give her space and let her breathe. Don't smother her in texts or phone calls. If she liked you, she'll be in contact with you. No woman wanting a lasting relationship is going to let a real gentleman slip away. We are rare these days.

        Finally once you and her are dating each other on a steady basis, be good to her. Treat her like the queen she is. She'll love you for it. :)

        • The thing is, everyone is different.

          Some women do prefer a submissive or docile partner. Many do not.

          You just have to know yourself and be able to recognize the kind of person you'd be compatible with.

          I do read a lot about how many women are disappointed with the lack of "take charge" men out there. Young adult men are quite child-like and are postponing adult responsibilities more these days, compared with previous generations. I believe many women find this unattractive. Read Christina Hoff Sommers' great book War on Boys for some reasons why today's young men are so different from those of previous generations.

  • I like nice guys way better than 'bad guys' but then again, i don't speak for the rest of the female population.

    I prefer someone kind that i can relate to and be myself around, not some controlling douche bag that treats me like shit.

  • girls love being treated like garbage, thats why you should treat them all like that.


    • I've always thought that guys who complain about girls only liking "bad guys" are suggesting that the reason they're single is because they're supposedly "too nice." In reality, there are probably numerous other reasons why they're not having great luck dating, and the real reasons probably have nothing to do with being "too nice."

      Maybe the guy has a bad personality, is physically unattractive, is uneducated or just plain stupid, is unemployed/dependent on parents/unable to provide for family of his own, other a combination thereof. Or maybe the guy doesn't know how to identify quality potential dates.

      It is easier for genetically unattractive guys to improve themselves and make themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. Sadly, for unattractive women, it's harder. If a woman is overweight or otherwise unattractive, the pool of potential suitors shrinks dramatically, much more than for guys.

      I'm not saying this is right or wrong. I'm just saying that this is what I have observed.

  • It just depends on the woman.

    A girl who just goes for "bad guys" is trash and has low standards, in my opinion. Who would even want a girl like that?

    I think it's so pathetic when guys complain that girls only like bad guys. First, it's not true. And, second, they're losers for wasting even 1 second obsessing over such women.

  • Outgoing is the type that usually strikes it big. You have to be confident enough that it shows. It is easier said than done. I personally like outgoing girls they are charismatic, problem is i am a introvert guy my self.

  • No. I want a guy who is smart, funny, KNOWS HOW KEEP HIS PANTS PULLED UP, likes books, video games, and gets me. I love my boyfriend. Only thing I don't like is that he has a bad short term memory. I do to. Our future kids are doomed.

  • To my knowledge, yes. Women, however, prefer for men to treat them respectfully and meet their needs.

  • Abusive male spouses are not always of a low intelligence. A number of variations of the human male can be categorized as 'bad boys'. Vice versa with gentle souls.
    I assume it is a thrill factor for some. It is a center of attention bubble for others. It could be any number of things depending on the people involved.

    People are more complicated than what they are usually perceived as. Others perceptions of anyone who is not themselves is usually fairly narrow.

  • I've been on this forum for, oh, 3 or 4 months now...

    Since that time, I have been hit on by 3 women and 1 gay man, all of that because of my smartassery and just overall comedy. Not once did I need to be a "bad guy".

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