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Private Pirate Monkey Brainstorming...

posted by ttg_Stemmle Telltale Alumni on - last edited - Viewed by 16.6K users
Hey guys 'n' gals,

In the spirit of "tapping the hive mind," I've got a few enigmatic questions for y'all:

-- What sort of book titles do you think could be found on the Voodoo Lady's bookshelf? Y'know, things like "The Joy of Hex," or "Screams of My Father."

-- For reasons that defy explanation, we're trying to enumerate dozens of unique kinds of winds, things like "The Wind the Blows Off Your Hat," or "The Wind that Sounds Remarkably Like an Unhappy Echidna." Can you think of any others?

-- Lastly, what's your pirate name?

Not promising anything,
Mike "Sleepy Boy" Stemmle
498 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • "The Wind that Carries the Fresh Scent of Hamburgers When Your on a Diet"
    "The Wind that Won't Shut Up"
    "The Wind that Takes Away a Child's Balloon But Blows Back a Five Dollar Bill"
    "Two Winds Colliding"
    "Windsday Wind"
    I don't know enough about MI to suggest any of the others.
  • The Wind That Blows Better Then The Majority of all Celebrities
  • "The Zen of Voodoo"
    "Chicken Soup for the Undead Soul"
    "How I Defeated McChuck" by Snybrush Leepwood

    The wind that blows sand in your backside.
    Wind powerful enough to blow itself away.
    Windy McWinderton.

    Pirate name? Err...
    Ian "Stabs-a-Lot-of-People" Jones
  • Voodoo Books and Things

    That Voodoo You Do - Impress your friends, co-workers, and even random strangers with these easy to learn Voodoo hexes and spells. Warning: May cause blindness in one eye.
    To Serve Fruit: A Cookbook by Lemonhead - Surely, this would be a good read if for nothing more than to help fight off sea scurvy.
    Mike Stemmle on Monkey 5 - Less is more, people.

    Pirate Name

    According to, my pirate name is Bloody Kuda Mathis, but I don't like that, so how about Captain Mikebeard the Ruthless.
  • Yaaay! Brain-storming! I love brain-storming!

    From Voodoo Lady's personal collection:

    "101 Voodoo Jokes" (to which Guybrush continues in the manner of a knock-knock joke) "Pin-Pin. Ouch!" (pause) "That's awful. No wonder it's a collector's LIMITED edition"
    "All you need to know about Deja-Voodoo" G: I already read that.
    “Voodoo: The Gathering”
    “Acupuncture OR How to poke someone for fun and profit”
    “Voodoo Princess: Poke-a-lot Barbie”
    “All you ever wanted to know about Voodoo but were afraid to ask”
    “Voodoo Lady Biography: I am NOT Whoopi Goldberg” (borrowed idea from Bizzaro :))
    “A needle in your butt, better than a sharp stick in the eye”
    “How I Survived Locked Up in a Coffin” by Stan
    “Coffins: Nails and Darkness” by Stan
    “Silence is never an option” by Stan
    “How to pitch your Voodoo Services” by Stan
    “How I can see without eyeballs” by Murray
    “Voodoo Magazine issue #24: Build your own rubber chicken with a pulley in the middle”
    “TTG: The story of the Tall Talking Gorillas”
    “My Monkey’s Uncle”
    “I see freakin’ Bunnies!” by Alice (wonderland reference)
    “Never follow the white rabbit”
    “The Deranged Monkey: A Case Study”
    “The Lord of the Strings” by Edward Van Helgen
    “Sheep Tossing: You Don’t Wanna Know”
    “Darn kids stole my whip” by Henry Jones
    “Damned and Damnation: A Love Story”
    “Her hand in marriage: The Graveyard Robber”
    “Eat, Sleep and Rot: A Path to Illumination”
    “Voodoo Zen: It hurts to think about”
    “A Peg leg named Frank” by Captain P. Silverwolf
    “Have you counted your teeth this morning?”
    “My glass eye and the contact lens: police novel”
    “Is this the bathroom?” by Toolait I. Pead
    “The boy that wanted to become a pirate” by Bim Turton
    “I kissed a chimp and I liked it”
    “What happened in the last 9 years?” G: Hmm, the pages are blank in this one.
    “There and back again…and again…and again” by LeChuck

    Winds throughout the Caribbean:

    The Wind that Killed Time
    The Wind that You Can See
    The Wind that You Can Smell
    The Wind that Takes You By Surprise
    The Wind that Wanted To Be a Real Boy
    The Wind that Stole My Boot
    The Wind that Groped My Wife
    The 5 o’ Clock Wind
    The Wind that Couldn’t Care Less
    Rasta Wind
    The Wind that Ate My Neighbors
    The Wind that Has a Drinking Problem
    The Wind that Cried “Typhoon”
    The Wind that Never Shut Up
    The Wind that Didn’t Feel Like a Brother to Pocahontas
    Chilly Wind: The Wind that Liked Chilies
    The Wind that Wanted to Become a Real-Estate Agent
    The Wind of Despair
    The Wind that Shot my Dog
    The Wind that Bit Me
    The Wind that Stole my Purse
    The Wind that Broke my Marriage
    The Wind that Blew my Fuse
    The Wind that Chewed my Boots
    MarkDarin;135001 said:
    HA!! I love it! Love the original book too. I'm odd that way.
    Same here! Also "My voice shall guide you" by Eriksson.

    My Pirate Name: Captain P. Silverwolf (it actually sounds piratey) Or, why not, Silverwolf Pet! Argh!

    I'll come back with more...
  • I thought of book titles and descriptions for each, hope you enjoy it. I'm non native english so maybe you make something better out of these descriptions.

    "What seadogs are made of - and what you can make out of them" Several recipes for the hungry pirate on high seas. (Guybrush may say: Hey they even got a Haggis recipe barbeqstyle... or barberstyle)
    "Malicious Mals de Mer - 5th anniversary Special Edition" - now with even more ill-ustrations.
    "Amorous Voodoo" - For all uptight pals who wanna get gals.
    "Hex Hex is no Tex-Mex" Not reviewed yet. To get more info ask your local "International House of Mojo"-shopkeeper.
    (I thought of a possible dialogue:
    Guybrush: What about the Tex-Mex book?
    Voodoo Lady: There've been many complaints lately that my mojo is stolen from the Mexican culture.
    Guybrush: Is there anything in common with the Mexican recipes and your voodoo recipes?
    Voodoo Lady: If you don't follow the recipes step by step, the outcome is unforeseen.
    Guybrush:... like global warming and rising sea levels?
    Voodoo Lady: Exactly.
    "What the Hex?" Compendium of all mojos and voodoo spells that makes you live happily, while others die crappily.
    "What to do with my Voodoo?" A guidebook for fast and efficient curse lifting with a multi-language audio CP (compact parrot) on the last page.
    "Voodoo 2.0" The dos and don'ts about creating your own voodoo recipes. Samples of each ingredient included. Beware: Samples may be contaminated. Disinfect with boiling seawater before using.

    The wind after a good ol' chili con carne eating contest.
    Since there are so many sugestions I can't think of any good ones right now.

    Piratename... uhh... what about Rotten Leg Andy or Pancreas Andreas... I may prefer the last one, cos you could translate it into German with "Bauchspeicheldrüsen Andreas" or "Bauchspeicheldrüsen Andy"
  • Books:
    "Three-Headed Monkey's and Where To Find Them"
    "Pirate Dance Lessons: The Gaint Monkey Robot"
    "Pirate Dance Lessons: The Grim Fandango"
    "Pirate Dance Lessons: Insult Square Dancing"
    "100 Things To Ask An Demoniacally Evil Talking Skull"
    "Make Your Own Wind"
    "Who's The More Windy? The Wind Or The Wind Which Follows It?"
    "Voodoo For Dummies"
    "How Much Wood Would Le Chuck, Chuck If Le Chuck, Were To Chunk Wood?"

    "The Wind of The Willows"
    "The Wind of Herman Toothrot"
    "The Wind Which Flew Away"
    "The Wicked Wind of The West"
    "The Tail Wind"
    "The Head Wind"
    "The Wind Which Follows You"
    "The Break Wind"
    "Amateur Wind"
    "The Wind Of A Thousand Sneezes"

    Pirate Name:
    Captain Mad M. Bamford
  • Eduardo;135038 said:
    Trying to think during work hours: not good...
    I'm sure your boss appreciates that. :eek:
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    I'm not witty enough to think of any books.

    I'd say my pirate name is Joseph Stinkmuch
    Or Frank Threesheets
  • Booktitles:
    * Voodoo for Dummies- A complete guide to pinning down your problems.
    * Master of Puppets- How to not get strung out.
    * One with the Pot- Feeling completely swamped? This stress reliever may be the answer to your problems!

    * The wind formerly known as Gus T.
    * The wind that blows.
    * The wind that away.

    Pirate name:
    * Smokey N. Chum
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