A Rant Regarding the Current State of Telltale (ALSO MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ANF AHEAD)
Hiya. Y'all probably know me on here by now so I'm gonna vent my frustrations on Telltale's recent... Decisions. And since I haven't made a thread on here in a while and I'm especially angry at the recent episode of Telltale's "Number One" series, I thought I'd post a little rant here.
So, I was just scrolling through YouTube listening to Chouzetsu Dynamic, and I see a title on the recommended videos list. A video titled "Kenny's death scene: Season 3", and I'd like to give an especially big Fuck You to RabidRetrospectGaming. And not just a big fuck you I mean a huge fuck you. But anyway, after getting pissed as shit for a while, I decided that since the cat's out of the bag and I chose the Jane ending anyway, I decided it'd probably be alright to watch the video to see how it ends. And of fucking course Kenny's death was just as stupid and avoidable as Omid's. Gave me a bit of Dejavu honestly.
So after that, I thought to myself "Okay, they pointlessly killed off Kenny. But it's alright, maybe his character was supposed to end anyway and we had to give one last goodbye. It's fine! Jane's a fresh new face and we've probably only hit the tip of the iceberg with her! And I was pleased to find that RabidRetrospectGaming decided to spoil HER untimely demise in the fucking title as well. Once again, fuck you RabidRetrospect, and I hope you realize how big of an asshole you are.
So I said "well fuck, maybe at least her ending will be meaningful" and with anger and frustration building, I watched the video. Now before I get to what REALLY pissed me off about this, I just wanna say that the fucking cop-out with the family being bandits and abandoning Clem, Jane and AJ only being a brief, poorly written mention through exposition is, how can I put this, the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen. But now on to the really upsetting thing.
Suicide. Jane committed suicide. I really don't know where to begin with this. One thing I'd like to say is that it was a good choice on Telltale's part to bring the issue with Luke from Season Two back, and have that be the driving force. So I want to congratulate Telltale on making something in this scene make sense. Now, everything else was really, really, REALLY fucking stupid. And I mean really stupid. So stupid that it makes me wonder if Telltale's writers just left for a day to fuck around with other shit. and they hired one of the Jane haters to write this entire flashback themselves because fuck this entire scene.
First off, Jane wouldn't commit suicide. That's not what her character has been made up to be at all, and it's something we'd see more akin to Kenny doing. Second, Jane has done some selfish actions, but she wouldn't leave Clementine and an infant child to take care of themselves and left them to stumble upon the body, and she ESPECIALLY wouldn't do that knowing that she would come back as a walker, the rope would snap and if Clem didn't find her Jane would have devoured her and the baby in their sleep. Jane sure as fuck could be selfish, but never that fucking stupid. Third, I'm pretty sure Jane would try aborting the baby before anything else, abortion pills aren't a super uncommon thing to find in the apocalypse, Glenn and Maggie found some for Lori after one fucking trip. Fourth, If she was so fucking afraid of having the baby then why the FUCK did she have sex with Luke with no fucking protection? And finally, way to make none of our fucking choices matter anyway and despite people deliberately trying to keep Kenny or Jane alive you got them fucking killed off anyway!
Are you fucking serious?! Did you learn nothing from Season Two?! Because it sure as fuck looks like you didn't! "Oh look at that! Our least well received game among critics and the community is Walking Dead Season Two! How about we do that again!". I'm trying really hard to stay calm but as I'm writing this I'm getting progressively more pissed off. And it's not even the Jane thing, whether you love or hate Jane doesn't matter fucking whatever, that's just you. But you literally made it so that NONE of our choices matter! Not in the fucking slightest! I haven't even played the full episodes yet (considering they won't be out until tomorrow) but this ALONE is enough to put this as not only the worst game of 2016 for me, but quite possibly the worst Telltale episode of any game they've made. FROM TWO FUCKING SCENES.
And the mods can get pissed at me all they want. Give me a perma-ban for all I care but this is fucking unacceptable especially when they obviously know damn good and well how poorly received the second season was! I know how hard the guys in the staff have been working on the game and I appreciate that, but when your game doesn't do the one thing that you ALWAYS advertise it to do, which is tailoring the story around your choices, then you have FUCKED. UP.
But that's not all! How about the broken release of Batman which I wasted 5 bucks on? How about the constant quality dips between the 3rd episode and the 5th? How about making EIGHT episodes of Minecraft: Story Mode but never being direct about whether or not Wolf will get a second season? How about the fucking abysmal mess that was the wait time between episodes for Tales from the Borderlands? Maybe the fact that this website is broken as all fucking shit? Oh, and now you're working on two more series before fixing your current ones? Gotta love the terrible dubbing for voices and awkward animations! Ooooh and I love the visual, audio AND save glitches that get worse with every passing year, and the list goes on and fucking on.
I fell in love with Telltale through The Walking Dead and their older games are fucking brilliant to me, which is why it hurts so much that The Walking Dead was the big thing that put me into this mindset, but when a company you love fucks up time and time again, no matter how much you love their older stuff your patience and love will be put to the test, and this is a test I really can't commit too.
Did you know I never once played Batman? The first episode was so fucking broken for me that I never got a chance to play it. I saw 3 clips of it on YouTube and nothing else, and got all my other info from spoilers that this broken fucking site failed to hide since the spoiler tags don't even say WHAT it's spoiling anymore. And I didn't even watch someone else play it outside those clips because of how fucking badly I was burned by the first episode, which by the way never started working for me because for some reason I didn't even receive a patch. It's a shame too because I was really fucking hyped for Batman, but at that point I just didn't fucking care. And I won't be picking up OR watching A New Frontier either, because in just 2 short five minute clips, you managed to completely turn me off from the series.
I love the community on these forums, I love a lot of the telltale games, I love most of the mods on here and I especially love seeing the dev team interact with other users on here and have such a good time with what their doing. But this is absolutely unacceptable.
I'm going to give Guardians of the Galaxy a chance, and after that I'm done. Telltale, you have tested my patience time and time again, and you managed to kill the love I had for you that was so strong that I defended you from every bit of hate at some points. And I'm definitely sure I'm not the only one you made feel this way. You guys can do so much better but you don't, and it hurts especially bad considering how good the newer games look and how great the QTEs are now, but all that effort is wasted on broken releases that can only be played with monster computers, and piss poor attempts at story-writing. I'm genuinely sorry, but it seems that Minecraft: Story Mode was probably the last Telltale game I'll be buying.