Nymeria's War (ongoing fanfiction)

1293032343580

Comments

  • I guess this was the point where she had the chance to break the brainwashing

    Voting is closed! Missy will say yes, she wants to be free. As you said this could be a chance to make an ally, but it's also b

  • nice detailing, also interesting to see how you attempted to get Castle Oasis easier into the story (but due to vote - failed)

    Voting is closed! Isabella will suggest Jamison as a husband candidate to herself, to Garrison. We'll see if this indeed is the

  • I love the scene and all the details you put into it, also the way you fleshed out the commander chars, and I assume there are even some other player created characters who joined the army if i am not mistaken.

    Dalia It was midday, the blazing Dornish sun was shining from the clear blue sky, and Dalia Sand stood on the docks of Brimston

  • damn, you really hated my characters, not even considering how they are the most likely to save Gwendis

    [Send Mizro] Hm.... I don't know who is going to be the worst choice here. Obviously, I want to screw Dalia and her company ove

  • True, for now I don't post anything, I have to finish catching up and see what happens, depending on that I will consider a H&L part for some of my, probably either a variant of Wylie's arrival, or a short story about the Dryland girls

    Ah, you can definitely share that one if you wish, it would've just been a bit out of place with the drawings

  • I guess things like this make the marriage slightly more real than a political one

    Voting is closed! Better to close before we've got a tie... Nymeria will agree with Mors, letting the Valyrian guests reside in

  • Wow, I assume not going to Mordekhai (I assume the location is his tower) was what even allowed the grip of Albin to soften on her mind to be able to say 'yes' in the next choice to begin with, but if she goes now it risks her becoming bound stronger to him again.

    Still, interesting how this could really turn out to have Ser Crusher choke the life out of her if she betrays the Mad King

    Missy ”Would you like to be free, Missy?” Willem Pyke repeated his question, looking at Missy with a piercing stare in his gree

  • to favor the creators as the decision made sense

    Voting is closed! And Naemon will take Malcolm with him to the mission. Well, technically it was a tie, but in this case I'm fa

  • I sense the chance of a certain mercenary army arriving at the manwoodys growing as they lose more and more forces :P

    Also, If I am not mistaken you barely mentioned the cavalry near the end, was about to ask if neither side had those, and that made me realise that certain war beasts weren't mentioned at the landing of the Dryland girls either

    Guardian of the Wide Way Early in the morning the scouts had rode to the camp from the north, informing that the army of the Ma

  • Indeed, I decided to scratch the elephants, sorry :D

    joriandrake posted: »

    I sense the chance of a certain mercenary army arriving at the manwoodys growing as they lose more and more forces :P Also, If

  • I think it seriously is time to add more details for the Drinkwaters to trigger their own little events and journeys

    I believe I will priorize that on the forum on my list of 'to do'

    Dianna Dianna sat opposed to Lord Byrant Granit, on the stony hall of Desertstone. Lord Byrant was a regal man on his early fif

  • I hope you know this Wylie is the same Wylie in your story

    That was a great part! I don't mind the lack of a choice, it felt nice enough without it And I must say, Bryant gives me a bit of

  • that must had been some amazing kissing, and not exactly on the cheek

    Nealia Nealia opened her eyes. Her head was aching, and her whole body was sweating. She turned around on her bed, seeing Lien

  • edited February 2017

    hm, if I recall correctly Mizro is the most charming among the commanders and if so, it was the best choice to have him do first contact

    also, I like those bodyguards for Desi

    edit: woah, Liquid REALLY hates my girls

    Dalia Dalia watched the ancient castle of Hellgate Hall, that stood next to the River of Brimstone, which ran very low here at

  • edited February 2017

    wow

    "I won't call a part with Dalia as the PoV great, not as long as it doesn't end with her death"

    you really seem to hate her for no reason

    "...while Dalia had no chance to fully earn my hatred yet, aside from the fact that she exists and might pose such a threat in the future."

    doesn't that kinda make all characters potentially hated by you in the game of thrones? XD

    editx3 well, my girls certainly got you excited and conflicted enough to write this much and have this many conflicting emotions, which I guess means I wrote them well and WK implemented them well too

    A very... interesting part. I won't call a part with Dalia as the PoV great, not as long as it doesn't end with her death, but the

  • Well, you have to understand, Gwendis has seen a sight with a warrior of light cutting her down - there is definitely some validity for Liquid to be wary of Dalia and Desi :D

    joriandrake posted: »

    wow "I won't call a part with Dalia as the PoV great, not as long as it doesn't end with her death" you really seem to hate

  • boo, those war elephants were what made the group more exotic, because the unsullied were already focused on in the books/series while not the wardumbos o_O

    also, I thought you loved them

    Indeed, I decided to scratch the elephants, sorry

  • ok, so the priestess of darkness had sex, and the shadows are part of both light and darkness.... soooo, who is going to be murdered by the shadowbaby?

    Gwendis The wind touched gently the skin of the Princess of Blackmont. It was quiet, Gwendis had her eyes closed, and in this m

  • tbh, I'm not sure what would I have done with them. Taking them out just made things easier, and I didn't expect you to come back so there was no one who minded their absence :D

    joriandrake posted: »

    boo, those war elephants were what made the group more exotic, because the unsullied were already focused on in the books/series while not the wardumbos o_O also, I thought you loved them

  • you need light to dismiss darkness

    Hm, you bring up a very good, if very concerning argument there. It is clear to me that Aisha is trying to trick Gwendis into givi

  • You seem surprised and this surprises me in return. I mean, have you expected me to choose anything else here? The others maybe, but me? I think I made it very clear why I picked that choice. I consider it to be by far the better choice in this situation. This is not about a mother and her daughter, not for me at least, this is about a potential enemy that could end up killing Gwendis. There is not even the shadow of doubt that I'd do it again, since at this moment, I see stalling or outright avoiding the confrontation between Gwendis and Dalia to be the only way to save the formers life. If this is the worst decision I have to take to save Gwendis, then I'm going to be happy. Unfortunately, I feel far worse decisions coming up, but trust me, no matter how outlandish the choices I make seem, they all aim at the goal to pick the option that is going to benefit Gwendis the most.

    joriandrake posted: »

    wow You actually voted here for a child's mother not to promise to go with the daughter if in need...

  • oooh, more valyrian mercs, but named 'fallen dragons', without any dragons

    Nymeria ”I’ll do it.” Tomas Toland finally said, his voice weak, and the look on his eyes even weaker. “For the sake of my fami

  • I can see Verro as someone who could be redeemed as companion of Desi

    Voting is closed! Verro won't intervene, letting the woman attack Axel. I can definitely see why you chose this, Axel is a pos,

  • I admit 'Moff' was my first reaction too

    Awesome! For some reason, it didn't occur me that sooner or later, there might be a Varyn portrait. Maybe I should rethink my stan

  • Oh shit, it's totally going to be Mordekhai, right? I had such a suspicion very recently, after noting that Gwendis, Trentan and the witch-bitch travel north, which is where Kingsgrave is located. I also noticed that out of every possible person to cross paths with Gwendis as Aisha's loyal warrior/attack dog, Mordekhai would be the worst by light years. I really, really hope that this is not what you imply and that my thoughts on this subject are entirely wrong. Aisha is already horrible enough, the last I want is for Gwendis to spend even a second in the presence of that one-man freakshow. I could even live with Tom the Animal, but Mordekhai? I think he is the only character in this entire story whom I want to be even less close to Gwendis than Aisha.

    God, this opens up even worse thoughts as to why Aisha wanted Gwendis to come along. Maybe as some sort of a sacrifice to please Mordekhai and whatever sick stuff he's into. And from the implications, he's into some really sick stuff. If anything, this thought made me hate Aisha only more. You know, I thought she was about to hit rock bottom in the long fall she took from a character I disliked to a character I really disliked, but it appears she's not even halfway down the depths of hatred.

    joriandrake posted: »

    at this point in catching up with the story here I would guess "Let's just say there are much worse among the followers of the Great Other." is a certain huge person who Aisha plans to recruit

  • You sure they are? Cause I'm not, not in the slightest. That's why I am somewhat shooting against both sides there. Aisha, the clear and real danger, Dalia and Desi the potential dangers, who are at the very least unsettlingly wildcard-ish. As long as I don't know whom I could trust, and I honestly can't trust Dalia and Desi, I'm just going to hate all of them. That way, I won't make the mistake of trusting and liking a character who later ends up becoming the worst. And I am far from sure that either of them is going to be of any help for Gwendis here. If anything, Trentan is the closest thing to a help I could even see at the moment. But Dalia and Desi? At this point, they are more or less enemies.

    joriandrake posted: »

    damn, you really hated my characters, not even considering how they are the most likely to save Gwendis

  • I hope you know that none of the others knew that (save for Wildling, I think?) and that you just dropped a potentially super huge spoiler completely in the open. That's what PM discussions are for ;)

    joriandrake posted: »

    I hope you know this Wylie is the same Wylie in your story

  • woah

    as this is the last page I may be in time to still vote here

    [Leave the room]

    Missy Missy stood in front of a door made of dark wood. She gazed at the grains in the polished surface of the wood, part of he

  • Mordekhai really should show up in full armament with weapon and shield soon, so you can describe his coat of arms, maybe even add the lore part about his family somewhere :)

    Well well well, the big 'secret' has finally been revealed! Yes, no more need to hold your tongue about this one when maki

  • true, but it is still somewhat hilarious how much he's sure it is those two (I guess my char ideas worked as intended?)

    Well, you have to understand, Gwendis has seen a sight with a warrior of light cutting her down - there is definitely some validity for Liquid to be wary of Dalia and Desi

  • you really seem to hate her for no reason

    I disagree. I think I hate her for the only good reason that is. Dalia is a very real threat to Gwendis, therefore I hate her. Yeah, I probably don't need much to hate a character, but what can I say, I consider this to be the best reason there is.

    doesn't that kinda make all characters potentially hated by you in the game of thrones? XD

    No, not really. Dalia is far more of a threat to Gwendis than, say, Arenna Dayne. Her goal is fundamentally opposed to Aisha's and Gwendis is currently dragged along and manipulated by that witch. The way I see it, Dalia has little reason not to just kill Gwendis on sight if they meet. So my hatred towards Dalia is completely justified in my opinion.

    editx3 well, my girls certainly got you excited and conflicted enough to write this much and have this many conflicting emotions, which I guess means I wrote them well and WK implemented them well too

    Less excited, more anxious, less conflicted, more confused. Anxious and confused sounds appropriately negative, because as difficult as they are, my feelings on them are mostly negative. Perhaps I tend to overthink situation (Like, I literally had to think of dozens of horrible things that Mordekhunt could do to Gwendis if they indeed cross paths, which I still heavily oppose), perhaps it is just my paranoia, but the only thing I feel conflicted about is the shadow of doubt that lingers, if Dalia and Desi can truly be the enemies when Gwendis is surrounded by Mordekhreep and the female clone of Jim Jones. I think by now my hatred has developed a bit of a life of its own though.

    joriandrake posted: »

    wow "I won't call a part with Dalia as the PoV great, not as long as it doesn't end with her death" you really seem to hate

  • edited February 2017

    hm, I can't say I like the idea you would take something out because you assume people don't come back, this did indeed sting a bit, ah my feels

    ... well ,I just wanted to see certain not flying warbeasts fight certain flying warbeasts later, as it was a plausible assumption the two merc armies end up on different sides in a battle, conasidering the gathering darkness around the Mandwoodies

    anyway, if you din't mind it, you can still add them, deploying horses for cavalry and war elephants from ships takes time, also to get the camp and stables/stalls set up to feed them, so it would be realistic to not march them to the meeting with the king as well

    tbh, I'm not sure what would I have done with them. Taking them out just made things easier, and I didn't expect you to come back so there was no one who minded their absence

  • well, I can see picking neutral options, but you outright hated newly appearing characters due to some strange prophecy, which while I don't know how WK plans the story to happen could in the end as result actually make things worse for your Gwen, and not because of the Dryland girls, but because the growing spiderweb of darkness due to Aisha

    You seem surprised and this surprises me in return. I mean, have you expected me to choose anything else here? The others maybe, b

  • Yep, I have a strong assumption it is going to be Mordekhai, and all the gods help us if that is the case, I assure you you would rather want to fight alongside beastmen, giants, wraiths, an army of R'hllor or the god of the Faceless Men itself than be on the same side as Aisha and Mordekhai, the Skeletal Knight

    Oh shit, it's totally going to be Mordekhai, right? I had such a suspicion very recently, after noting that Gwendis, Trentan and t

  • Yeah, light would be great. Unfortunately, the only thing that comes even close to light is Desi's fire and fire is not good in the slightest. Fire burns and consumes and kills, so I find it hard to see it as good. I believe light and dark can both go and kill each other as long as they don't dare to lay as much as a finger on Gwendis.

    joriandrake posted: »

    you need light to dismiss darkness

  • as the person who created various characters causing you to freak out from, yep, I am pretty sure your best bet (among my characters) are the Wild Sun girls, or maybe Wylie

    if for no other reason remember the special talents of Wylie (and he is more stronger in this earlier era), and a fire priestess might revive people, now and then as well

    You sure they are? Cause I'm not, not in the slightest. That's why I am somewhat shooting against both sides there. Aisha, the cle

  • It was an intentional spoler, it is supposed to make WK's readers here more interested in reading your FoT story, and also that of Stigz to learn more about his origins and circumstances

    /hint, hint, shameless commercial/

    I hope you know that none of the others knew that (save for Wildling, I think?) and that you just dropped a potentially super huge spoiler completely in the open. That's what PM discussions are for

  • Haha, I can see that Forovos has become this looming threat for every character who is not sided with the Martells :D And obviously there is a good reason for that. Anyway, as I told CM3434, right now Forovos is in Sandship :)

    You know, I'm not sure if I ever outright stated it, but it was his existence that gave me the final nudge towards Aisha back in that dreadful choice. I knew, Gwendis could potentially find a way to stall the Martell army once they'd turn their attention towards Skyreach, working together with the similarly brilliant Garrison. That would get her the attention of Forovos and would end up with her death. That was at least part of my fear. The other was, ironically, that the Manwoody's would take Skyreach at some point during the war, that Gwendis wouldn't get out quick enough and that Mordekhlusterfuck would kill her, since I already guessed that skeletons could fit the vision with a bit of a stretch (actually, a serious stretch, but well). Now guess where Aisha just dragged her into D:

    Indeed, there certainly are people in Godsgrace who don't like Jamison. However, as you mentioned, attacking him would mean war with the Daynes, which definitely makes it less tempting to try to kill the guy - not that it would be easy anyway.

    Well, unless someone wants House Allyrion to go to war with the Dayne's. Forovos, to bring him up again, could have a personal interest in that. Or what if Esperence doesn't want that alliance? There's no saver way to ruin it but to kill Vorian's son. I doubt everyone wants that alliance.

    I really don't see a reason not to take him... unless Ser Laroy is actually a Martell agent who plans to kill Jamison here. Hell,

  • I... see. I don't know how much of a success this is going to have though, gotta be honest there. Most of the readers here are already readers for FoT and for the Invasion as well. I don't know, I appreciate the thought, but I feel like the negatives of knowing that spoiler will outweigh the possible benefits.

    joriandrake posted: »

    It was an intentional spoler, it is supposed to make WK's readers here more interested in reading your FoT story, and also that of Stigz to learn more about his origins and circumstances /hint, hint, shameless commercial/

  • Oh, don't take hatred for hatred here. I have various shades of hatred. Right now, Dalia and Desi are at the first stage, the "I don't know who they are, but they pose a threat"-kind of stage, where I react more out of mistrust and slight confusion. Aisha has advanced to stage two, the "I have a legitimate hatred against her and an objectively good reason"-stage. Arguably, Mordebhastard is at the same stage and they are both about to take a dive into stage three, the "point of no return"-stage. There are about twenty stages below that, with the last one being me waging the literary equivalent of a nuclear war on that character. So, stage one really isn't too bad. It's the stage where I keep somewhat of an open mind towards them, while simultaneously leaning towards hating them for a lack of alternatives. Even I must admit that I have hated for better reasons before and rarely for worse.

    joriandrake posted: »

    well, I can see picking neutral options, but you outright hated newly appearing characters due to some strange prophecy, which whi

Sign in to comment in this discussion.