User Avatar Image

How can I ever find a woman to love when I want to live my life with open eyes?

posted by doodo! on - last edited - Viewed by 1.2K users
I go day to day in a family that believes in several stereotypes, is easily programmed. A family that listens to music without listening to the actual lyrics. A family that says and does things without realizing what they say and how they feel effects everyone around them. They don't understand projection, and aren't considerate or even aware of how they influence and affect others.

They all pollute one another with emotions, instead of talking, we all fight, argue, get emotional over stupid things. We don't communicate, we let emotions go free. There's little understanding of how emotions radiate from one person to the next and how they change people around them.

Everyone like me is like a child, they just vent emotions into others creating undesirable emotions in the person they are venting with.They are all selfish and don't have alot of self reliance or a strong sense of individualism and pride. They don't respect others individualism, they all seek to label others and over simplify.

Is it really that much work to open up your eyes to the world and actually keep an open mind and alter what you already know? Why is it that at a certain point in life most people stop learning and stop nurturing their "tools in their brain" to learn?

Why is it that at one point most people become so sure of their selves and chose to ignore the world around them?

Subordinate and false, already finished learning, a life already finished just dragging on...

They mold people off of what that person becomes, what they think they have to be and what they are to others. They selfishly mold others into stereotypes and prohibit any real growth beyond psychological conditioning from others.

It's a vicious circle.

They are always so sure of how they read things.

For the most part everything flawed is given too much attention, and everything with potential is seen with those too many flaws. It's a vicious primitive cycle of dog eats dog.

Mostly self absorbed, worried about ego.
"Fear of being thought "different" or in some way unacceptable keeps many people from exploring the world that they chose to inhabit. They tend to replicate what the media shows them and will cling to an illusion of "normal" like a drowning man clings to a float. Closing ones eyes, mind and heart is less trouble, less demanding and safer than actually asking questions and exploring the answers you discover. Its part laziness, part fear and definitely a lack of curiosity, imagination and passion. It is ego-based, fear based behavior. And you're right, it is almost wholly false.
You've seen it, now you can choose NOT to fall into those kinds of ruts.
They lead nowhere.
Been asking questions and exploring since puberty (possibly longer)"


I don't get along with too many people. Only a select few people live in a real world. I'm a 22 year old male and I don't know if I'll ever find any one. As more times goes on I have more time to think to my self. I'm by far perfect but ^^^ I see a lot of people as caged animals and all I want is to find some sort of liberation, freedom to live my life happily.
77 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • You want to live a happy life? You're on the wrong planet.

    ...Is what I would normally say, but I feel encouraging today. So, uh, when did you get so philosophical, man? And uh, what's the point you're trying to make? I see a lot of statements but no real main point.
  • Secret Fawful;331171 said:
    You want to live a happy life? You're on the wrong planet.

    ...Is what I would normally say, but I feel encouraging today. So, uh, when did you get so philosophical, man? And uh, what's the point you're trying to make? I see a lot of statements but no real main point.
    You have lots of positive vibe, I like you. You're a cool guy from what I know.

    People, and me just don't click in "the real false world".

    I got lots of things I love about myself inside and it's all great but I don't express myself or interact with others "normally". I just can't seem to fit in even though I honestly believe myself to have some descent qualities and characteristics. It's like an invisibility cloak over me. I don't want to be or sound "conceited". I just want to stand up for myself and state that I think there's good things about me that can go unnoticed or are down played. :)

    It just feels like I could relate to people, do have cool things about myself that go unnoticed because people are blinded by what they should see or want to see to understand me.

    When they do think they understand me they are too sure of what they're seeing. I think life is more complex than it's given credit and that too many people aren't given a chance to live it fully.
    It feels like everyone lives under some sort of covers.
  • Chilling out and not worrying about the little things helps.
  • Maybe you just have the wrong attitude about it. If you have these qualities you should work on showing them off. Part of letting people know you're a cool person is showing off why. All the time. No hiding anything. Flaunt yourself around, throw yourself at everybody, and if someone doesn't want anything to do with you, shrug them off and screw them, cause they're no good. People will admire you for your confidence more than you'll ever realize. It's not about them, it's about being okay with yourself, and if you are, the rest will come right along with it.


    I don't want to hear any damn excuses just shut up and do it, you maggot. Now drop and give me twenty. Come on you weak little bastard. I'll rip yer arms off for oars and make you my rowboat, then I'll sail you down the long river of pain and misery. You'll weep blood and sweat vomit, and before you're through, you'll be a real man. Until then you are weak, you are a bleeder, you are my own personal bitch. I'll call your mother every name in the book and you'll hate me through your tears, and you will persevere through this war so you can look me in the face and feel even half as superior as my little pinky- oops looks like I went into drill sergeant mode again.
  • I'm doing fairly well at work. I don't care if I get along with the guys or not, we get along ok. It's the women that drive me crazy...

    My boss even tells me I'm doing a great job every day, but it's like we got a full shipment of babes and now, LOL. Women are one of my weaknesses. I don't consider myself to have too many "weaknesses" but when it comes to women...

  • Fortunately I know how to counter it.

    They market most women to look like this...


    But in reality they usually look like this.

  • You're obviously really analytical and philosophical. A lot of people aren't like that, but that's just them. A lot of people will miss the bigger picture that you see, but don't let that bug you too much. If they're happy, they're happy. Your lamenting of this fact isn't going to do anyone any good, so why not just be content with the way it is?

    I think that if you don't put people's behaviour under such scrutiny then you'll be happier. Think of it like this: at the minute, you're looking at people's behaviour under a microscope. If you take a step back and look at the whole person without that microscope, you'll realise that people are generally pretty nice and well intentioned. You'll realise that a person not living their life to its fullest potential isn't actually a bad thing. They're not a worse person for it, and they've not lost any happiness from it (only potential happiness, which doesn't technically exist) and neither have you.

    In a word, relax :)
  • You're all very wise for your age. Not that I'm hardly that much older. I'm going to go watch Star Trek The Next Generation.
  • doodo!;331227 said:
    I'm going to go watch Star Trek The Next Generation.
    This is what I do when I want the world to be a little bit brighter. ;)
  • People start being unhappy when they feel like their life hasn't turned out the way they wanted it to be. In most cases, if not all, they can't name something specific; it's because most of them actually gave up on their dreams.

    But the fact is, nothing is unreachable, only if you don't believe in it, and only if you don't put some effort in it. Now everybody can dream of being rich, or having the love of their life, but what is it you really desire for yourself? Most things we take as "our dream" are nothing more than the results of what you're trying to accomplish.

    I actually stopped thinking about what others think about what I can or can't. I quite literally stopped listening to people who say I can't become a world-famous writer. Never give up on your dreams. You might not reach your final goal, but as long as you're working towards it, you have something to look forward to. Thing is, nothing will be as we want it to be, but at least the thought of getting towards this dream is actually satisfying enough.

    If you can satisfy yourself, only then can you satisfy others. The rest will come, if you not only believe in it, but also in yourself. I'm a 24 year old virgin, soon to be 25, and I don't expect to get a girlfriend before my 30th, but even if it never really happens, I still have my dreams.

    And I also truly believe that for everyone, there is someone. It's not something you can explain, but it's just so. Sure that other person will never be like you imagine that one to be. I don't expect to actually find a girl with long dark hair, blue eyes, glasses, aspirations of becoming an artist and still be a virgin by the time I meet her, or a very hot and equally intelligent redhead, or Mila Kunis, but that's life.

    And it doesn't really only stay with love, it extends to the rest of your life. You can spend your entire life chasing that dream, if you don't live your life in-between chasing that dream, what use was it to chase it anyway? Some people don't give up on their dream because they don't think they can't reach it, they do it because they know that wasn't exactly what they were looking for at all, they actually found a new purpose in life.

    A Dutch song once sarcastically said: "Life is what happens to you while you make other plans". I think it's true, but without surprise, what's life worth? Without the sad part, what good are the happy parts? Without strife, what is love?

    Also, I really should be going to bed. I'm not thinking straight anymore and actually forgot most of what I was writing.
Add Comment