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The Writing Thread

posted by DAISHI on - last edited - Viewed by 5K users
Herein lies the Writing Thread! Usually I just post something brief and then allow the participants to engage one another, unshackled by rules like a meeting of Tea Partiers in a debate with Muslims.

However! I propose the following rules to the writing thread, and what this thread should be about.

1.) This thread should obviously be about your own writing.

Your post should be about one of the following things.
2.) A pitch. A story you're thinking about writing, ideas you're tossing around to solicit for feedback.

3.) Brief poetry can be posted in full. Just don't make your poetry a full length story.

4.) A short story you've written that you would like to post, in part. Since a short story can run 2000 to 5000 words, do not post in full. You may post sensible length excerpts, preceded by synopsis of that portion of the story for context.

5.) A long story or novel you've written that you'd like to post, in part. Since a novel can run from 80000 words to 120000 words or more, do not post in full. You may post a sensible length excerpt, preceded by synopsis of that portion of the story for context.

Things to avoid.
Don't get in a hissy fit about criticism. It's the only way to grow as a writer.

Don't just criticize to criticize. In other words, don't be a Debby Downer. List what you think a writer did well, in addition to criticism. Tone means a lot. Don't be overly negative in the tone of your criticism.
179 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • DAISHI;767777 said:
    Don't know if you need the colon in that sentence :) Nice appeal to the sense of scent, authors normally forget that.
    Actually, I was hungry when I wrote it, and then my fingers started to type out my thoughts as I fantasized about pancakes. That sweet, delicious taste of vanilla sugar, mixed with what was once a fluid batter, basked in the creaminess called butter, until the butter completely dissolves, leaving only the pancake and the pan itself.

    I think I should stop typing while I'm hungry.
  • Hey good writers have to use their senses. If you're hungry and it helps you write better, no problem ;)
  • Right, it's now up on my blog for better or worse. Before I give the link here's another preview, this time of the start.


    Bart Conrad, a lively young American 10 year old, was with a group of friends playing baseball. Bart was in bat, and needed a home run to win the game and the Little League. He hit the ball, and made a run for it. He did, he ran for it! He was past first base, second, third. He was running like mad to home base. He dived for the base, then suddenly it was all black.

    Dave Bennett, a 12 year old English boy, was getting ready to save a goal that could win the match and the league. He was in goal for Roseheath School (who were playing Henley Comprehensive School). The ball was coming towards him, then their striker took a shot. It came speeding towards Dave, he dived for it, and then he suddenly vanished!

    Chrissie Howard, an headstrong 11 year old was playing a netball match in Darwin, Australia. She was lining up for an important shot. She took it, but before she knew where the ball ended up, she too vanished into oblivion.

    If, for some reason, you want to read more then go here:
  • DAISHI;767802 said:
    Yeah I can see all that just fine. It'll take time to read though...
  • lol I just wanted to make sure it was up. I'll take it down in a week or so but i need to share it around to some of my friends.
  • DAISHI;767774 said:
    Interesting. It's hard to pull off this format of story but I like the general tone of it.
    I’m basically starting it off with bogus newspaper articles concerning all the shit that went down at Hilltop Elementary and it will progress into a story.
  • Anyway, I took DAISHI's advice and replaced the colons with regular commas in the actual manuscript.

    As a bonus, here's some more from the first chapter:


    I looked outside. Despite it already being fairly late in the morning, the sky was almost as dark as the night, only the faintest of sunlight was visible, which had an eerie green glow to it. Thick streams of rain was pouring from the sky, and this time, I could even hear the faint sound of thunder. The wind howled stronger than before.

    She was ironing her still moist clothes, so I decided to clean the shop a bit, in case any customer would enter. After a while, I could hear her come downstairs. She had all her clothes back on, including her red cloak.

    “So,” I said. “What brings you here?”

    “Stuff,” she replied.

    “Right,” I said. I felt like asking more about it would have been pointless. “So, I didn’t really catch your name,” I said.

    “It’s because I didn’t give one,” she said.

    Not wanting to give up that easily, I asked her, “Well, what’s your name then?”

    “You can call me Diana,” she replied. “You’re Edgar Howard, right?”

    I was kind of surprised. “How do you know my name?” I asked.

    She wasn’t phased by that question though, and replied, “I saw your first name on some of your unopened letters, and I assumed this was a family business, so I took it the ‘Howard’ in the name was a last name.”

    “That explains a lot,” I said. “Now, about earlier, what did you mean when you said the weather wouldn’t get any better?”

    “I just assumed it by the clouds getting darker,” she replied. “Just take a look in the direction the wind is coming from. Near the horizon the clouds are getting darker and denser. This by itself wouldn’t be an indication, it might just mean that there would be heavy rainfall, but the fact that the air outside is still relatively warm says something. The storm will get worse.”

    “Wow,” I said. “So I guess it means you’re staying for a while. That is, unless you have some other place to be.”

    “No,” she said, “I don’t have to go anywhere.”

    “Well, don’t you have a place to go home to?” I asked. Even though she visually didn’t express it, I could see sadness in her eyes.

    “As far as I know I don’t have a home,” she said.

    I knew she didn’t want any, but I took pity on her. “You know what,” I said. “You can stay as long as you like. But you’ll have to help out in the store. I can’t pay you much for it, but I hope providing you a roof and food would compensate that.”

    For the rest of the day, she did help out in the store, but as there wasn’t going to be a lot of people coming by anyway, I let her roam around the building. It wasn’t as if there was anything of value in the house, and for some reason I trusted her. In fact, she did nothing to break that trust. I could even go out to do some groceries.

    After I closed up the store, I went upstairs to heat some leftovers, when I noticed that Diana had already prepared dinner. It smelled delicious, and I didn’t have a real good meal in a while, so I was a bit excited.

    “This is really good,” I said after taking a bite. “What is it?”

    “It’s a stew I made using both leftovers and some vegetables you still had lying around,” she said.

    “Well, this is really good,” I said. “Where did you learn to make this?”

    “Let’s just say that you’ll have to be creative if you don’t have a lot of food,” she replied.

    “You won’t believe how happy I am having you around,” I exclaimed, only afterwards just realizing what I had said. She didn’t seem to mind though, and even though she didn’t say much or show it, but I could see she was happy to hear that.


    If you guys really want, and if you are really nice, I could give you a sneek preview of the sample preview that will be released when I publish my story. The sample will be the first three chapters of my novel, which will be about 32 pages (excluding the first few pages with information about my book and the table of contents). I'll publish the novel once I finish chapter four and my brother finishes the front cover.

    Also, apparently I'm now writing a novel.
  • New Pitch!

    Don't have much more, but the story of a dude who was kidnapped by fairies only to escape and find himself entirely made out of porcelain. Like he can move normally and stuff, but is super breakable. How would someone live like that? I'm kinda intrigued.
  • You mean like Samuel L. Jackson's character in Unbreakable?
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