Telltale Autumn Sale

Corrupted Wish

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Comments

  • edited January 2013
    Granted, he's so beautiful, that you can't handle it and you die.


    I wish I knew how to speak Russian.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted. Ты идиот.

    I wish for a six-pack.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited February 2013
    Granted, You now have a six pack of turkey and gravy flavored soda.

    I wish there were more days in Februrary.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, they take two more days from the rest of the year, including you're birthday.

    I wish I could meet the Axis of Awesome.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, they're so funny, you run of out air from trying to breathe while laughing, and go unconcious, your unconcious self runs of out air, and then you die from not enough air.


    I wish I didn't have a popped tire on my car.
  • edited February 2013
    Your wish is my command. In this new timeline, your tire has never popped. As a result, last night you decide to go out to the grocery store to pick up a few things you've been meaning to buy for a while. However, on the way there, you fail to notice a pedestrian crossing the road in the dark. You strike her and screech to a halt. You get out of your car, trembling as you slowly walk over to the young girl lying before your vehicle. Her body is twisted at impossible angles, blood is pooling beneath her as she lays still, so still, on the ground before you. Fear overtakes you as you collapse to your knees. Time loses meaning and you hardly notice as you are taken away in the back of a police car. You are now spending the next several long, long years in prison for vehicular manslaughter. Well done.

    I wish for $4.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, They're Canadian dollars.

    I wish I had the ability to remove stupid things from the universe
  • edited February 2013
    You remove yourself.

    I wish for a fifty foot stack of pancakes.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited February 2013
    Granted. They're brought into existence directly over your head, and once they finish fully materializing they crush you under their sheer mass.

    I wish I didn't have two doctor appointments today.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted. Instead, you have two root canals scheduled for today.
  • edited February 2013
    A void wish can bear no fruit. The fact that you've neglected to cast a wish results in an implosion of the forum's magic, causing a magic black hole to form. It quickly grows in size until it is large enough to consume all of reality.

    I wish I had some semblance of control over my life.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, but only your abilities. All of which are useless because you have no control of your body. Enjoy your short, empty life!

    I wish I could write faster.
  • edited February 2013
    You type to the point that your hands fall off.

    I wish my stomachache would go away.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited February 2013
    Granted. You drink a bottle of drain cleaner, and now have no stomach at all.

    I wish for a moon pie.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted. The pie, which is literally the moon in a crust, throws off Earth's tilt and freezes the entire planet, killing everyone on the surface. Nice going.

    I wish for a new pair of socks.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, you get LeChuck's socks from Tales of Monkey Island.

    I wish Telltale would be able to make a deal with Lucasarts and they would then be able make Sam & Max Freelance Police, Sam & Max Hit the road Special Edition, and Tales of Monkey Island 2.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, Hit the road SE is entirely unfaithful to the original, and they screw up Freelance Police and ToMI 2 royally.

    I wish I could travel through time
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, but you can only travel forward through time, and it takes a whole day to get one day into the future.

    I wish Sam & Max ran Telltale Games.
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, it gets to the point where every game stars Sam & Max and Max keeps throwing 3 games out every year and everyone gets sick of Sam & Max. It then gets to the point where Sam & Max runs out of funny jokes and start coming up with crappy jokes.

    I wish a new Ratchet & Clank main series game came out and it was better than A Crack in Time and every Ratchet & Clank game before it.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited February 2013
    Granted. It is so good that gamers refuse to buy any other games, which causes the video game industry to crash. It never recovers, and no more games are ever released.

    I wish I were a fish.
  • edited February 2013
    You become a fish right now and suffocate because of lack of water

    I wish there were shorter waiting times between Telltale games
  • edited February 2013
    Granted, There are now shorter times waiting for new Telltale Games but since TTG are putting games out so fast, the story is crap, the game is extremely glitchy, and each episode is very short.

    I wish that Kingdom Hearts HD 1.5 Remix was going to be ported to the Vita.
  • edited March 2013
    Granted. The port has a bug with a 70 percent chance of encountering that bricks your vita

    I wish I had the perfect bagel.
  • edited March 2013
    You become no Obsessed over the Bagel that when someone else starts to look at it funny you attack him and are thrown in prison
    Afterwards there is a war that wipes out humanity over the Perfect Bagel until No more Telltale games are ever made again...

    I want to some how win this thread
  • edited March 2013
    Granted you win and the thread dies.

    I wish inFamous Second Son has Cole & Zeke as main characters in it.
  • edited March 2013
    The game is exactly three minutes long.

    I wish for a pair of headphones that don't suck.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited March 2013
    Granted. The headphones don't suck. Instead they blow, and the force of wind through your ear canal ends up killing you instantly.

    I wish I had a dollar for every time a character on a television show says a catch phrase.
  • edited March 2013
    Granted, Because most "Catch Phrases" are only said once by characters, you don't make a lot of money.

    I wish I looked as sexy as I've felt the past couple days
  • edited March 2013
    Granted, however you're so sexy, you die.

    I wish LucasArts would come out with a Star Wars Battlefront 3 alread.
  • edited March 2013
    Granted they ruin the game completely by deciding to try and make it a kinect game. They make it 80% dancing from Star Wars Kinect. The games controls are so horrible that it makes playing the main game unplayable. to make it worst instead of a normal Star Wars Battlefont FPS online multiplayer it is a dance off multiplayer.

    I wish they made a Call of duty Zombies game. That mainly focused on the co op on it and it played great.
  • JenniferJennifer Moderator
    edited March 2013
    Granted. The game is completed, and plays great. However, it is never released.

    I wish I could find the motivation to polish up the songs I made during FAWM.
  • edited March 2013
    Jennifer wrote: »
    Granted. The game is completed, and plays great. However, it is never released.

    I wish I could find the motivation to polish up the songs I made during FAWM.

    Granted you find the motivation to do it, and the songs are so polished up, that nothing can handle them and they're rendered useless.
  • edited March 2013
    Granted! You're nothing

    I wish my back would stop hurting
  • edited March 2013
    Granted now your leg hurts.

    I wish that a sequel to Wreck it Ralph was made and was even better than the first one.
  • edited March 2013
    Granted it is made but is only released in an unknown alien language with no subtitles which kind of ruins the experience

    I wish that more companies would make good point and click games
  • edited March 2013
    Granted, but just as the companies complete their awesome point-and-click games, their marketing departments suddenly think everyone wants action shooter games instead, so they cancel distribution.

    I wish I wasn't almost out of lemonade.
  • edited March 2013
    Granted. You have so much lemonade, it fills up your house and you drown before you can get out.

    I wish I could play guitar really well.
  • edited March 2013
    Granted, but you can't do it for other people, including recordings

    I wish I didn't give up so easily
  • edited March 2013
    You have a complete personality change and never give up...
    Someone then challenges you to a breath holding competition and you suffocate

    I wish that Dogs rule the world as our Kind Benevolent Overlords...
  • edited March 2013
    Dogs now rule the world, but since we can't understand them they can't give us any orders and the human race starves to death due to lack of competent leadership.

    I wish every Sunday was Free Waffle Sunday.
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