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The Pitch

posted by GaryCXJk on - last edited - Viewed by 1.1K users
Okay, I kind of had this idea.

Lately I've been creative a lot, and came up with a great amount of ideas. However, because of that I don't know where to start, or if my ideas are good enough for a big audience. In fact, I'm not the only one. There are a lot of aspiring authors, animators, movie makers and game developers who have a good idea, but just don't know how well it might get received.

As the Telltale Games board has a very diverse group, this would be a great place to show your ideas, may it be for books, films, games or any other thing you can imagine.

Remember though, try to keep it serious. Even though we can have a little fun here and there, this thread is mainly for serious discussions and criticism.

Now, how would this work? Basically a person will come here and post a pitch, either for one idea or more. It is up to you to give criticism, or give suggestions, either on how to make the ideas work or otherwise. The pitcher might also have some requests themselves, so be sure to answer accordingly. You can still discuss the ideas as well, but it's also good to let them know what your answers are to his or her questions.

This is only for pitching an idea, not to recruit or get help. The best way to get into a project is to poll to what degree something might work or might have an audience.

Also, remember, don't be critical about your idea. If you aren't certain of your idea but still want people's opinion, post the idea as confident as possible. It's still up to others to judge your idea. You don't have to state why the idea might not be good enough or hard to do.

You can make your pitch as long as possible, but remember, the best pitches aren't very long. Also, it's up to you how you format your pitches, so try to make it as clear as possible.

Finally, don't do plagiarism. Even though you obviously can, it's a really big dick move, and you won't get any friends with this. Assuming this thread will live for a long time, we do have evidence that you took an idea from this thread. It might even fall under copyright.

Anyway, let's begin!

Subject: Three game pitches
Medium: Video Game
Special request: I'd like to get the opinions of people on which game I should actually work on.


I have three ideas for a game, and I would like to know which of the three games I should work on, as I don't have the time to work on all three. I am planning on using RPG Maker VX Ace to make the game, with heavy scripting used to make the game as unique as possible. The ideas are as followed:


Order of Zendael
Five warriors go out on an adventure to save a palladin, the girlfriend of Jules who also happens to be the princess of the mountain city Zendael. Traveling on the floating city Order, they'll try to track down the captivator, but will they manage to find her?

The game is mainly set on the floating city Order. This is the place where you can quick-travel, and sometimes you can only get to certain places only by Order. It's one of the few places where you can accept quests.

Fighting will either be done using a regular side view battle, using a real time battle system, which plays like an early Final Fantasy game, or as an action RPG, like Secret of Mana. Each character will have unique classes they can switch between, as well as a set of subclasses. All classes have their own levels, and you don't level up the main character themselves. There might also be a system to reset the levels of a class, in return for a small stat bonus.

There might also be a crafting system.

Setting and characters
The story takes place in a fantasy world, where everything is a bit of a hommage to fantasy adventures and RPGs. You'll follow the adventures of Jules, a knight and soon-to-be palladin, another knight called Clayth who mainly uses lances, the elven priestess Aurelia, the skillful archer Parker, and the giant Bohr, a fierce warrior. Along their way they meet new characters, like the unfortunate thief Marius, the bard Garfield and the samurai Atlus.


Miss Eldritch
An average girl goes to an average school, where she befriends average kids who happen to be eldritch abominations. Lucky for most of them, Erin L. Ditrich happens to have a thing for them. But what happens when a handsome regular human arrives? And who is that nerdy girl spying on her?

This game will feature a time system, where you can wander around the school in real-time. Since this is a special school, there are no mandatory lessons, only exams on set times.

You can follow lessons on set times, which will train certain skills. These skills are required for both passing exams as well as romancing. You will also get learning opportunities, for example, by beating tutors in "combat".

The combat system uses a special set of commands. You can either use light, neutral or dark moves, which affect certain relationships. Light moves use a knowledge base. Neutral moves have random effects, where it can both affect the opponent as well as yourself. Dark moves are special kinds of moves. They are associated with cheating, and if you get caught, there will be penalties, both during battle as well as outside of combat. In fact, getting caught during an exam can result in either detention or even expulsion.

At the end of each battle you will get rated from A+ to F. This will affect the way you level, but also affects your grades during exams. It is important that you get high enough grades to be able to stay at school, and to eventually graduate.

Setting and characters
The story takes place mostly at a special high school. There are no set classes, so you'll have to pick on what class you would focus. However, not every class is given at any time, they are only given at set times.

You mainly play as Erin L. Ditrich, a quirky girl who has a fascination for eldritch abominations.


Eldritch Fairytales
When on a stormy night a woman enters a bookstore, Edgar's life is turned upside down. Not only does he have to save the world against Cthulhu and other dark forces, he also has to save the world from cynicism. Joined by Little Red Riding Hood, the huntsman and Rose the Red, he's out to make the world optimistic again.

This game plays out partially like an adventure game, with investigations and item combining, and partially as an RPG. There are no random encounters, instead you will have to engage enemies before a battle commences, although the enemy might chase you if you are in sight.

Each playable character has a unique way of battling. For example, Edgar can use words to manipulate the battle, while the huntsman relies on pure combat.

Setting and characters
The setting is a modern world, and cities will have regular NPCs walking around, minding their business. Those mostly aren't plot essential, but are there to give the game a bit more atmosphere.

The main protagonist is Edgar, a young bookstore owner and amateur writer. Though shy in real life, he's famous over the internet for his amazing stories, all of which he released under public domain. It is why Little Red Riding Hood has an interest in him.

Little Red Riding Hood, who assumed the name Diana, had a traumatic youth. When arriving at grandmother's house, she found her grandmother dead and bloodied next to the bed, where the big bad wolf was strapped in veins, begging for help. When she fled, she fell into a portal which sent her to an ever-growing library containing all free information in the world, where she was trapped in for ten years.

The huntsman, who goes by the alias John T. Hunter, saw Snow White getting killed by an unknown being. When reporting back to the queen, she initially refused to believe him due to the lack of a heart, so she turned to the magic mirror, which confirmed what the huntsman said, and more. What she saw turned her mad, and the huntsman could do nothing but flee, to save himself from a similar fate. Now he's bent on destroying that thing that's been killing everybody or turning everybody insane.

Rose the Red lost her sister White Lily to the vampire Carmilla, who narrowly escaped death by an angry mob. Now she not only has to find her sister, she also has to kill her.
19 Comments - Linear Discussion: Classic Style
  • Darth Marsden;758184 said:
    No, he Googled it. Read what he said.
  • Darth Marsden;758184 said:
    No, he Googled it. Read what he said.
    I'll start referring to you as maam.
  • iryon;758195 said:

    Seriously, I'm gonna have to start keeping track of 'em on a post-it note or something.
  • Hell, if I could draw like that, I'd be posting more stuff in the art thread.
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    Jennifer Moderator
    There's a local Native American legend that the lake now known as Eldridge Lake is bottomless and is guarded by a serpent called Gaspara.

    An idea I had was that Gaspara is a member of an advanced civilization who is seeking to explore the Lake's surface just as a group of scuba divers is seeking to explore the lake's depths.
  • As long as this thread is here, I'd like to contribute my own pitch:

    Subject: Series
    Medium: Novels and/or Graphic Novels

    The Legends of Hanshind

    The Mythos of this series is based around a medieval fantasy-style setting. The world is inhabited by sentient mammals of various genii as well as several sentient genii of Dragons, and the land is split into three nations: Helmaknoll, Peznelivwat, and Opezepkwelsh.

    There are two eras in which stories are told: The Modern era and the Hanshindian Era.

    Hanshindian Era: Takes place around 100 to 150 years prior to modern era, when Peznelivwat is at War with Helmaknoll, and relationships with the Opez territories are touchy.The Hanshindian Era is named for its most prominent and celebrated hero: Cegcos Hanshind, an Equisian Soldier who learned not only how and when to fight, but how and when to heal as a Medic, becoming the first person in history to be assigned to two classes. These stories mainly serve as a moral standpoint for the modern generation. Most of the characters who play a major role in this era are dead before the modern era.

    Modern Era: This era is more focused on action and characters than on morals. Our main characters are Dasirdajii Vekwelm, a Canisian Mage/Swordsman, Irwek Noishmel, a Felisian Archer/Draconian, and Mikgamirden, a dragon who serves as Irwek's mount. Anything that is within the realm of probability can happen and issues will focus on one story arc at a time. An example of a story arc can be found below.

    First Story Arc: The King of Peznelivwat has just been murdered, and his son, Prince Haljed Kinkwech, has fled the country, drawing suspicion to himself. The royal advisor has issued an order to capture the prince on sight. This order is carried out to the other nations, and as such to our modern-day heroes. When the heroes get word from a group of wanderers in the forest that a Vulpisian stranger has entered the land fleeing an unjust framing, they suspect the stranger might be the missing prince, but decide to treat him fairly. Exploiting a loophole in their orders, they ask the stranger to be concealed, before he is brought before them and Dasirdajii gives the Prince a potion of invisibility. Eventually, it is discovered that the Prince is indeed innocent, and must sneak back into his homeland to find the real traitor and take back his throne.

    So that's my series idea in a nutshell. I'm open to feedback, and I would very much like some.
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    Jennifer Moderator
    I've been wanting to do a project combining live action with animation (I'm a big fan of Mary Poppins, Space Jam, and Who Framed Roger Rabbit).

    I finally came up with an idea for one. It's set in the 1940's. Humans and cartoon characters have been struggling from the conversion to sound and then even more to color. In this world, the conversion is literal, as each studio has to pay for the person or character to have the conversion process, otherwise they are in black and white (or in the case of sound, can't talk).

    The film focuses on a cartoon character who has had the sound conversion, but the studio refuses to pay for the color conversion because the cartoons haven't been selling well. This cartoon character meets one half of a popular husband-and-wife silent film comedy team. When the team broke up, the husband went on to super stardom, and the wife couldn't connect with audiences on her own. The studio paid for the husband's conversion to sound, but refused to do so for the wife. So, the wife is black and white and silent.

    The cartoon character and the actress end up bonding, and both of their spirits are lifted up until the point where the actress finds out that her ex-husband has received the color conversion, and is now dating a famous actress. She goes into a deep depression, leaving just the cartoon character there to try to raise her spirits and to try to pick up the pieces.
  • I had a sort-of-but-not-really similar idea back when I first heard they might be doing Who Framed Roger Rabbit 2.

    It basically took place in the same world as WFRR, but it was set in the late 80s/early 90s, and was all about how the toons weren't happy about the newfangled CGI cartoons that were being created. There was a lot of conflict between the two groups - the toons thought the "CGs" were muscling in on their turf and the "CGs" thought the toons were outdated and ready to be replaced.

    Then there was some mysterious villain who was pushing the two sides into flat-out war by murdering prominent figures from both groups and framing the other side for it. I never picked out which characters bit the dust dip, but someone like the main character from ReBoot would be a good choice for the CGs, and maybe someone like Woody Woodpecker from the toons?

    As the two sides are gunning for each other it fell to a lone cop to solve the mystery and try and bring piece to the city - or as close to peace as you can get with toons.
  • @StrongBrush1:

    The idea sound fairly solid, except there is one tiny problem here. Even though there is some link between the past and present thread of story, as the present's society is a result of the past, there seems to be no direct link between the two. In any work, when using such a form of storytelling, one always expects that there is a direct relationship between the two plot threads.

    For example, the television series Once Upon A Time has both an indirect as well as a direct relationship between the fairy tales and the events in Storybrooke. Events that happen in these fairy tales are presented as a past for their Storybrooke counterparts, but also have a direct relationship and parallels that happen at the moment. This is mainly obvious with the relationship between Snow and James, which is shown in contrast to that of Mary Margaret Blanchard and David Nolan, as a way to show how both similar they are to each other as well as how different these two stories are.

    Now, if you're going to show both the past and present in one storyline, you should take that into account. If one is presented as a whole, there has to eventually be an obvious link to why you're specifically showing that part of history. It won't really be an issue of these stories are going to be separate, but otherwise you should carefully plan it.
  • @GaryCXJk

    Thanks for the advice. I'll try to find a link between the two parts of the timeline.
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