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The Trolling Game

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Here you can troll 'til you drop
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  • ACT I

    PROLOGUE
    Two households, both alike in dignity,
    In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
    From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
    Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
    From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
    A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
    Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
    Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
    The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
    And the continuance of their parents' rage,
    Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
    Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
    The which if you with patient ears attend,
    What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
    SCENE I. Verona. A public place.
    Enter SAMPSON and GREGORY, of the house of Capulet, armed with swords and bucklers
    SAMPSON
    Gregory, o' my word, we'll not carry coals.
    GREGORY
    No, for then we should be colliers.
    SAMPSON
    I mean, an we be in choler, we'll draw.
    GREGORY
    Ay, while you live, draw your neck out o' the collar.
    SAMPSON
    I strike quickly, being moved.
    GREGORY
    But thou art not quickly moved to strike.
    SAMPSON
    A dog of the house of Montague moves me.
    GREGORY
    To move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand:
    therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away.
    SAMPSON
    A dog of that house shall move me to stand: I will
    take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's.
    GREGORY
    That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes
    to the wall.
    SAMPSON
    True; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels,
    are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push
    Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids
    to the wall.
    GREGORY
    The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.
    SAMPSON
    'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I
    have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the
    maids, and cut off their heads.
    GREGORY
    The heads of the maids?
    SAMPSON
    Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;
    take it in what sense thou wilt.
    GREGORY
    They must take it in sense that feel it.
    SAMPSON
    Me they shall feel while I am able to stand: and
    'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.
    GREGORY
    'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou
    hadst been poor John. Draw thy tool! here comes
    two of the house of the Montagues.
    SAMPSON
    My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back thee.
    GREGORY
    How! turn thy back and run?
    SAMPSON
    Fear me not.
    GREGORY
    No, marry; I fear thee!
    SAMPSON
    Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.
    GREGORY
    I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as
    they list.
    SAMPSON
    Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them;
    which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.
    Enter ABRAHAM and BALTHASAR
    ABRAHAM
    Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
    SAMPSON
    I do bite my thumb, sir.
    ABRAHAM
    Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
    SAMPSON
    [Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say
    ay?
    GREGORY
    No.
    SAMPSON
    No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I
    bite my thumb, sir.
    GREGORY
    Do you quarrel, sir?
    ABRAHAM
    Quarrel sir! no, sir.
    SAMPSON
    If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you.
    ABRAHAM
    No better.
    SAMPSON
    Well, sir.
    GREGORY
    Say 'better:' here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
    SAMPSON
    Yes, better, sir.
    ABRAHAM
    You lie.
    SAMPSON
    Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.
    They fight
    Enter BENVOLIO
    BENVOLIO
    Part, fools!
    Put up your swords; you know not what you do.
    Beats down their swords
    Enter TYBALT
    TYBALT
    What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds?
    Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon thy death.
    BENVOLIO
    I do but keep the peace: put up thy sword,
    Or manage it to part these men with me.
    TYBALT
    What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,
    As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee:
    Have at thee, coward!
    They fight
    Enter, several of both houses, who join the fray; then enter Citizens, with clubs
    First Citizen
    Clubs, bills, and partisans! strike! beat them down!
    Down with the Capulets! down with the Montagues!
    Enter CAPULET in his gown, and LADY CAPULET
    CAPULET
    What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho!
    LADY CAPULET
    A crutch, a crutch! why call you for a sword?
    CAPULET
    My sword, I say! Old Montague is come,
    And flourishes his blade in spite of me.
    Enter MONTAGUE and LADY MONTAGUE
    MONTAGUE
    Thou villain Capulet,--Hold me not, let me go.
    LADY MONTAGUE
    Thou shalt not stir a foot to seek a foe.
    Enter PRINCE, with Attendants
    PRINCE
    Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,
    Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel,--
    Will they not hear? What, ho! you men, you beasts,
    That quench the fire of your pernicious rage
    With purple fountains issuing from your veins,
    On pain of torture, from those bloody hands
    Throw your mistemper'd weapons to the ground,
    And hear the sentence of your moved prince.
    Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,
    By thee, old Capulet, and Montague,
    Have thrice disturb'd the quiet of our streets,
    And made Verona's ancient citizens
    Cast by their grave beseeming ornaments,
    To wield old partisans, in hands as old,
    Canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate:
    If ever you disturb our streets again,
    Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace.
    For this time, all the rest depart away:
    You Capulet; shall go along with me:
    And, Montague, come you this afternoon,
    To know our further pleasure in this case,
    To old Free-town, our common judgment-place.
    Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.
    Exeunt all but MONTAGUE, LADY MONTAGUE, and BENVOLIO
    MONTAGUE
    Who set this ancient quarrel new abroach?
    Speak, nephew, were you by when it began?
    BENVOLIO
    Here were the servants of your adversary,
    And yours, close fighting ere I did approach:
    I drew to part them: in the instant came
    The fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepared,
    Which, as he breathed defiance to my ears,
    He swung about his head and cut the winds,
    Who nothing hurt withal hiss'd him in scorn:
    While we were interchanging thrusts and blows,
    Came more and more and fought on part and part,
    Till the prince came, who parted either part.
    LADY MONTAGUE
    O, where is Romeo? saw you him to-day?
    Right glad I am he was not at this fray.
    BENVOLIO
    Madam, an hour before the worshipp'd sun
    Peer'd forth the golden window of the east,
    A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad;
    Where, underneath the grove of sycamore
    That westward rooteth from the city's side,
    So early walking did I see your son:
    Towards him I made, but he was ware of me
    And stole into the covert of the wood:
    I, measuring his affections by my own,
    That most are busied when they're most alone,
    Pursued my humour not pursuing his,
    And gladly shunn'd who gladly fled from me.
    MONTAGUE
    Many a morning hath he there been seen,
    With tears augmenting the fresh morning dew.
    Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs;
    But all so soon as the all-cheering sun
    Should in the furthest east begin to draw
    The shady curtains from Aurora's bed,
    Away from the light steals home my heavy son,
    And private in his chamber pens himself,
    Shuts up his windows, locks far daylight out
    And makes himself an artificial night:
    Black and portentous must this humour prove,
    Unless good counsel may the cause remove.
    BENVOLIO
    My noble uncle, do you know the cause?
    MONTAGUE
    I neither know it nor can learn of him.
    BENVOLIO
    Have you importuned him by any means?
    MONTAGUE
    Both by myself and many other friends:
    But he, his own affections' counsellor,
    Is to himself--I will not say how true--
    But to himself so secret and so close,
    So far from sounding and discovery,
    As is the bud bit with an envious worm,
    Ere he can spread his sweet leaves to the air,
    Or dedicate his beauty to the sun.
    Could we but learn from whence his sorrows grow.
    We would as willingly give cure as know.
    Enter ROMEO
    BENVOLIO
    See, where he comes: so please you, step aside;
    I'll know his grievance, or be much denied.
    MONTAGUE
    I would thou wert so happy by thy stay,
    To hear true shrift. Come, madam, let's away.
    Exeunt MONTAGUE and LADY MONTAGUE
    BENVOLIO
    Good-morrow, cousin.
    ROMEO
    Is the day so young?
    BENVOLIO
    But new struck nine.
    ROMEO
    Ay me! sad hours seem long.
    Was that my father that went hence so fast?
    BENVOLIO
    It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?
    ROMEO
    Not having that, which, having, makes them short.
    BENVOLIO
    In love?
    ROMEO
    Out--
    BENVOLIO
    Of love?
    ROMEO
    Out of her favour, where I am in love.
    BENVOLIO
    Alas, that love, so gentle in his view,
    Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!
    ROMEO
    Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,
    Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!
    Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here?
    Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.
    Here's much to do with hate, but more with love.
    Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!
    O any thing, of nothing first create!
    O heavy lightness! serious vanity!
    Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
    Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire,
    sick health!
    Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
    This love feel I, that feel no love in this.
    Dost thou not laugh?
    BENVOLIO
    No, coz, I rather weep.
    ROMEO
    Good heart, at what?
    BENVOLIO
    At thy good heart's oppression.
    ROMEO
    Why, such is love's transgression.
    Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,
    Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest
    With more of thine: this love that thou hast shown
    Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.
    Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
    Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
    Being vex'd a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears:
    What is it else? a madness most discreet,
    A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
    Farewell, my coz.
    BENVOLIO
    Soft! I will go along;
    An if you leave me so, you do me wrong.
    ROMEO
    Tut, I have lost myself; I am not here;
    This is not Romeo, he's some other where.
    BENVOLIO
    Tell me in sadness, who is that you love.
    ROMEO
    What, shall I groan and tell thee?
    BENVOLIO
    Groan! why, no.
    But sadly tell me who.
    ROMEO
    Bid a sick man in sadness make his will:
    Ah, word ill urged to one that is so ill!
    In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman.
    BENVOLIO
    I aim'd so near, when I supposed you loved.
    ROMEO
    A right good mark-man! And she's fair I love.
    BENVOLIO
    A right fair mark, fair coz, is soonest hit.
    ROMEO
    Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit
    With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit;
    And, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd,
    From love's weak childish bow she lives unharm'd.
    She will not stay the siege of loving terms,
    Nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes,
    Nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold:
    O, she is rich in beauty, only poor,
    That when she dies with beauty dies her store.
    BENVOLIO
    Then she hath sworn that she will still live chaste?
    ROMEO
    She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste,
    For beauty starved with her severity
    Cuts beauty off from all posterity.
    She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,
    To merit bliss by making me despair:
    She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow
    Do I live dead that live to tell it now.
    BENVOLIO
    Be ruled by me, forget to think of her.
    ROMEO
    O, teach me how I should forget to think.
    BENVOLIO
    By giving liberty unto thine eyes;
    Examine other beauties.
    ROMEO
    'Tis the way
    To call hers exquisite, in question more:
    These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows
    Being black put us in mind they hide the fair;
    He that is strucken blind cannot forget
    The precious treasure of his eyesight lost:
    Show me a mistress that is passing fair,
    What doth her beauty serve, but as a note
    Where I may read who pass'd that passing fair?
    Farewell: thou canst not teach me to forget.
    BENVOLIO
    I'll pay that doctrine, or else die in debt.
    Exeunt
    SCENE II. A street.
    Enter CAPULET, PARIS, and Servant
    CAPULET
    But Montague is bound as well as I,
    In penalty alike; and 'tis not hard, I think,
    For men so old as we to keep the peace.
    PARIS
    Of honourable reckoning are you both;
    And pity 'tis you lived at odds so long.
    But now, my lord, what say you to my suit?
    CAPULET
    But saying o'er what I have said before:
    My child is yet a stranger in the world;
    She hath not seen the change of fourteen years,
    Let two more summers wither in their pride,
    Ere we may think her ripe to be a bride.
    PARIS
    Younger than she are happy mothers made.
    CAPULET
    And too soon marr'd are those so early made.
    The earth hath swallow'd all my hopes but she,
    She is the hopeful lady of my earth:
    But woo her, gentle Paris, get her heart,
    My will to her consent is but a part;
    An she agree, within her scope of choice
    Lies my consent and fair according voice.
    This night I hold an old accustom'd feast,
    Whereto I have invited many a guest,
    Such as I love; and you, among the store,
    One more, most welcome, makes my number more.
    At my poor house look to behold this night
    Earth-treading stars that make dark heaven light:
    Such comfort as do lusty young men feel
    When well-apparell'd April on the heel
    Of limping winter treads, even such delight
    Among fresh female buds shall you this night
    Inherit at my house; hear all, all see,
    And like her most whose merit most shall be:
    Which on more view, of many mine being one
    May stand in number, though in reckoning none,
    Come, go with me.
    To Servant, giving a paper
    Go, sirrah, trudge about
    Through fair Verona; find those persons out
    Whose names are written there, and to them say,
    My house and welcome on their pleasure stay.
    Exeunt CAPULET and PARIS
    Servant
    Find them out whose names are written here! It is
    written, that the shoemaker should meddle with his
    yard, and the tailor with his last, the fisher with
    his pencil, and the painter with his nets; but I am
    sent to find those persons whose names are here
    writ, and can never find what names the writing
    person hath here writ. I must to the learned.--In good time.
    Enter BENVOLIO and ROMEO
    BENVOLIO
    Tut, man, one fire burns out another's burning,
    One pain is lessen'd by another's anguish;
    Turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning;
    One desperate grief cures with another's languish:
    Take thou some new infection to thy eye,
    And the rank poison of the old will die.
    ROMEO
    Your plaintain-leaf is excellent for that.
    BENVOLIO
    For what, I pray thee?
    ROMEO
    For your broken shin.
    BENVOLIO
    Why, Romeo, art thou mad?
    ROMEO
    Not mad, but bound more than a mad-man is;
    Shut up in prison, kept without my food,
    Whipp'd and tormented and--God-den, good fellow.
    Servant
    God gi' god-den. I pray, sir, can you read?
    ROMEO
    Ay, mine own fortune in my misery.
    Servant
    Perhaps you have learned it without book: but, I
    pray, can you read any thing you see?
    ROMEO
    Ay, if I know the letters and the language.
    Servant
    Ye say honestly: rest you merry!
    ROMEO
    Stay, fellow; I can read.
    Reads
    'Signior Martino and his wife and daughters;
    County Anselme and his beauteous sisters; the lady
    widow of Vitravio; Signior Placentio and his lovely
    nieces; Mercutio and his brother Valentine; mine
    uncle Capulet, his wife and daughters; my fair niece
    Rosaline; Livia; Signior Valentio and his cousin
    Tybalt, Lucio and the lively Helena.' A fair
    assembly: whither should they come?
    Servant
    Up.
    ROMEO
    Whither?
    Servant
    To supper; to our house.
    ROMEO
    Whose house?
    Servant
    My master's.
    ROMEO
    Indeed, I should have ask'd you that before.
    Servant
    Now I'll tell you without asking: my master is the
    great rich Capulet; and if you be not of the house
    of Montagues, I pray, come and crush a cup of wine.
    Rest you merry!
    Exit
    BENVOLIO
    At this same ancient feast of Capulet's
    Sups the fair Rosaline whom thou so lovest,
    With all the admired beauties of Verona:
    Go thither; and, with unattainted eye,
    Compare her face with some that I shall show,
    And I will make thee think thy swan a crow.
    ROMEO
    When the devout religion of mine eye
    Maintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;
    And these, who often drown'd could never die,
    Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars!
    One fairer than my love! the all-seeing sun
    Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun.
    BENVOLIO
    Tut, you saw her fair, none else being by,
    Herself poised with herself in either eye:
    But in that crystal scales let there be weigh'd
    Your lady's love against some other maid
    That I will show you shining at this feast,
    And she shall scant show well that now shows best.
    ROMEO
    I'll go along, no such sight to be shown,
    But to rejoice in splendor of mine own.
    Exeunt
    SCENE III. A room in Capulet's house.
    Enter LADY CAPULET and Nurse
    LADY CAPULET
    Nurse, where's my daughter? call her forth to me.
    Nurse
    Now, by my maidenhead, at twelve year old,
    I bade her come. What, lamb! what, ladybird!
    God forbid! Where's this girl? What, Juliet!
    Enter JULIET
    JULIET
    How now! who calls?
    Nurse
    Your mother.
    JULIET
    Madam, I am here.
    What is your will?
    LADY CAPULET
    This is the matter:--Nurse, give leave awhile,
    We must talk in secret:--nurse, come back again;
    I have remember'd me, thou's hear our counsel.
    Thou know'st my daughter's of a pretty age.
    Nurse
    Fa
  • Di- Did you just post the entire first act of Romeo and Juliet?

    10/10 would read again.
  • Remolay;770674 said:
    Di- Did you just post the entire first act of Romeo and Juliet?

    10/10 would read again.
    Remolay's reply in a nutshell.
  • Ladies and Gentlemen, on a complete non-troll topic, we need to have a forum-wide re-enactment of Romeo and Juliet where everyone reworks their lines on the spot.
  • ted12;772112 said:
    Ladies and Gentlemen, on a complete non-troll topic, we need to have a forum-wide re-enactment of Romeo and Juliet where everyone reworks their lines on the spot.
    A pox on both your houses.
  • [QUOTE=16_BIT_MARIO1;770657]ACT I

    PROLOGUE
    Two households, both alike in dignity,
    In fair Verona, where we lay our scene,
    From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
    Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
    From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
    A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;
    Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
    Do with their death bury their parents' strife.
    The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,
    And the continuance of their parents' rage,
    Which, but their children's end, nought could remove,
    Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;
    The which if you with patient ears attend,
    What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
    SCENE I. Verona. A public place.
    Enter SAMPSON and GREGORY, of the house of Capulet, armed with swords and bucklers
    SAMPSON
    Gregory, o' my word, we'll not carry coals.
    GREGORY
    No, for then we should be colliers.
    SAMPSON
    I mean, an we be in choler, we'll draw.
    GREGORY
    Ay, while you live, draw your neck out o' the collar.
    SAMPSON
    I strike quickly, being moved.
    GREGORY
    But thou art not quickly moved to strike.
    SAMPSON
    A dog of the house of Montague moves me.
    GREGORY
    To move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand:
    therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away.
    SAMPSON
    A dog of that house shall move me to stand: I will
    take the wall of any man or maid of Montague's.
    GREGORY
    That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes
    to the wall.
    SAMPSON
    True; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels,
    are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push
    Montague's men from the wall, and thrust his maids
    to the wall.
    GREGORY
    The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.
    SAMPSON
    'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I
    have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the
    maids, and cut off their heads.
    GREGORY
    The heads of the maids?
    SAMPSON
    Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;
    take it in what sense thou wilt.
    GREGORY
    They must take it in sense that feel it.
    SAMPSON
    Me they shall feel while I am able to stand: and
    'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.
    GREGORY
    'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou
    hadst been poor John. Draw thy tool! here comes
    two of the house of the Montagues.
    SAMPSON
    My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back thee.
    GREGORY
    How! turn thy back and run?
    SAMPSON
    Fear me not.
    GREGORY
    No, marry; I fear thee!
    SAMPSON
    Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.
    GREGORY
    I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as
    they list.
    SAMPSON
    Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them;
    which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.
    Enter ABRAHAM and BALTHASAR
    ABRAHAM
    Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
    SAMPSON
    I do bite my thumb, sir.
    ABRAHAM
    Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
    SAMPSON
    [Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say
    ay?
    GREGORY
    No.
    SAMPSON
    No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I
    bite my thumb, sir.
    GREGORY
    Do you quarrel, sir?
    ABRAHAM
    Quarrel sir! no, sir.
    SAMPSON
    If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you.
    ABRAHAM
    No better.
    SAMPSON
    Well, sir.
    GREGORY
    Say 'better:' here comes one of my master's kinsmen.
    SAMPSON
    Yes, better, sir.
    ABRAHAM
    You lie.
    SAMPSON
    Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.
    They fight
    Enter BENVOLIO
    BENVOLIO
    Part, fools!
    Put up your swords; you know not what you do.
    Beats down their swords
    Enter TYBALT
    TYBALT
    What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds?
    Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon thy death.
    BENVOLIO
    I do but keep the peace: put up thy sword,
    Or manage it to part these men with me.
    TYBALT
    What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,
    As I hate hell, all Montagues, and thee:
    Have at thee, coward!
    They fight
    Enter, several of both houses, who join the fray; then enter Citizens, with clubs
    First Citizen
    Clubs, bills, and partisans! strike! beat them down!
    Down with the Capulets! down with the Montagues!
    Enter CAPULET in his gown, and LADY CAPULET
    CAPULET
    What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho!
    LADY CAPULET
    A crutch, a crutch! why call you for a sword?
    CAPULET
    My sword, I say! Old Montague is come,
    And flourishes his blade in spite of me.
    Enter MONTAGUE and LADY MONTAGUE
    MONTAGUE
    Thou villain Capulet,--Hold me not, let me go.
    LADY MONTAGUE
    Thou shalt not stir a foot to seek a foe.
    Enter PRINCE, with Attendants
    PRINCE
    Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,
    Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel,--
    Will they not hear? What, ho! you men, you beasts,
    That quench the fire of your pernicious rage
    With purple fountains issuing from your veins,
    On pain of torture, from those bloody hands
    Throw your mistemper'd weapons to the ground,
    And hear the sentence of your moved prince.
    Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,
    By thee, old Capulet, and Montague,
    Have thrice disturb'd the quiet of our streets,
    And made Verona's ancient citizens
    Cast by their grave beseeming ornaments,
    To wield old partisans, in hands as old,
    Canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate:
    If ever you disturb our streets again,
    Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace.
    For this time, all the rest depart away:
    You Capulet; shall go along with me:
    And, Montague, come you this afternoon,
    To know our further pleasure in this case,
    To old Free-town, our common judgment-place.
    Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.
    Exeunt all but MONTAGUE, LADY MONTAGUE, and BENVOLIO
    MONTAGUE
    Who set this ancient quarrel new abroach?
    Speak, nephew, were you by when it began?
    BENVOLIO
    Here were the servants of your adversary,
    And yours, close fighting ere I did approach:
    I drew to part them: in the instant came
    The fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepared,
    Which, as he breathed defiance to my ears,
    He swung about his head and cut the winds,
    Who nothing hurt withal hiss'd him in scorn:
    While we were interchanging thrusts and blows,
    Came more and more and fought on part and part,
    Till the prince came, who parted either part.
    LADY MONTAGUE
    O, where is Romeo? saw you him to-day?
    Right glad I am he was not at this fray.
    BENVOLIO
    Madam, an hour before the worshipp'd sun
    Peer'd forth the golden window of the east,
    A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad;
    Where, underneath the grove of sycamore
    That westward rooteth from the city's side,
    So early walking did I see your son:
    Towards him I made, but he was ware of me
    And stole into the covert of the wood:
    I, measuring his affections by my own,
    That most are busied when they're most alone,
    Pursued my humour not pursuing his,
    And gladly shunn'd who gladly fled from me.
    MONTAGUE
    Many a morning hath he there been seen,
    With tears augmenting the fresh morning dew.
    Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs;
    But all so soon as the all-cheering sun
    Should in the furthest east begin to draw
    The shady curtains from Aurora's bed,
    Away from the light steals home my heavy son,
    And private in his chamber pens himself,
    Shuts up his windows, locks far daylight out
    And makes himself an artificial night:
    Black and portentous must this humour prove,
    Unless good counsel may the cause remove.
    BENVOLIO
    My noble uncle, do you know the cause?
    MONTAGUE
    I neither know it nor can learn of him.
    BENVOLIO
    Have you importuned him by any means?
    MONTAGUE
    Both by myself and many other friends:
    But he, his own affections' counsellor,
    Is to himself--I will not say how true--
    But to himself so secret and so close,
    So far from sounding and discovery,
    As is the bud bit with an envious worm,
    Ere he can spread his sweet leaves to the air,
    Or dedicate his beauty to the sun.
    Could we but learn from whence his sorrows grow.
    We would as willingly give cure as know.
    Enter ROMEO
    BENVOLIO
    See, where he comes: so please you, step aside;
    I'll know his grievance, or be much denied.
    MONTAGUE
    I would thou wert so happy by thy stay,
    To hear true shrift. Come, madam, let's away.
    Exeunt MONTAGUE and LADY MONTAGUE
    BENVOLIO
    Good-morrow, cousin.
    ROMEO
    Is the day so young?
    BENVOLIO
    But new struck nine.
    ROMEO
    Ay me! sad hours seem long.
    Was that my father that went hence so fast?
    BENVOLIO
    It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?
    ROMEO
    Not having that, which, having, makes them short.
    BENVOLIO
    In love?
    ROMEO
    Out--
    BENVOLIO
    Of love?
    ROMEO
    Out of her favour, where I am in love.
    BENVOLIO
    Alas, that love, so gentle in his view,
    Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!
    ROMEO
    Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,
    Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!
    Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here?
    Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.
    Here's much to do with hate, but more with love.
    Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!
    O any thing, of nothing first create!
    O heavy lightness! serious vanity!
    Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
    Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire,
    sick health!
    Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!
    This love feel I, that feel no love in this.
    Dost thou not laugh?
    BENVOLIO
    No, coz, I rather weep.
    ROMEO
    Good heart, at what?
    BENVOLIO
    At thy good heart's oppression.
    ROMEO
    Why, such is love's transgression.
    Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,
    Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest
    With more of thine: this love that thou hast shown
    Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.
    Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
    Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
    Being vex'd a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears:
    What is it else? a madness most discreet,
    A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
    Farewell, my coz.
    BENVOLIO
    Soft! I will go along;
    An if you leave me so, you do me wrong.
    ROMEO
    Tut, I have lost myself; I am not here;
    This is not Romeo, he's some other where.
    BENVOLIO
    Tell me in sadness, who is that you love.
    ROMEO
    What, shall I groan and tell thee?
    BENVOLIO
    Groan! why, no.
    But sadly tell me who.
    ROMEO
    Bid a sick man in sadness make his will:
    Ah, word ill urged to one that is so ill!
    In sadness, cousin, I do love a woman.
    BENVOLIO
    I aim'd so near, when I supposed you loved.
    ROMEO
    A right good mark-man! And she's fair I love.
    BENVOLIO
    A right fair mark, fair coz, is soonest hit.
    ROMEO
    Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit
    With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit;
    And, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd,
    From love's weak childish bow she lives unharm'd.
    She will not stay the siege of loving terms,
    Nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes,
    Nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold:
    O, she is rich in beauty, only poor,
    That when she dies with beauty dies her store.
    BENVOLIO
    Then she hath sworn that she will still live chaste?
    ROMEO
    She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste,
    For beauty starved with her severity
    Cuts beauty off from all posterity.
    She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,
    To merit bliss by making me despair:
    She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow
    Do I live dead that live to tell it now.
    BENVOLIO
    Be ruled by me, forget to think of her.
    ROMEO
    O, teach me how I should forget to think.
    BENVOLIO
    By giving liberty unto thine eyes;
    Examine other beauties.
    ROMEO
    'Tis the way
    To call hers exquisite, in question more:
    These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows
    Being black put us in mind they hide the fair;
    He that is strucken blind cannot forget
    The precious treasure of his eyesight lost:
    Show me a mistress that is passing fair,
    What doth her beauty serve, but as a note
    Where I may read who pass'd that passing fair?
    Farewell: thou canst not teach me to forget.
    BENVOLIO
    I'll pay that doctrine, or else die in debt.
    Exeunt
    SCENE II. A street.
    Enter CAPULET, PARIS, and Servant
    CAPULET
    But Montague is bound as well as I,
    In penalty alike; and 'tis not hard, I think,
    For men so old as we to keep the peace.
    PARIS
    Of honourable reckoning are you both;
    And pity 'tis you lived at odds so long.
    But now, my lord, what say you to my suit?
    CAPULET
    But saying o'er what I have said before:
    My child is yet a stranger in the world;
    She hath not seen the change of fourteen years,
    Let two more summers wither in their pride,
    Ere we may think her ripe to be a bride.
    PARIS
    Younger than she are happy mothers made.
    CAPULET
    And too soon marr'd are those so early made.
    The earth hath swallow'd all my hopes but she,
    She is the hopeful lady of my earth:
    But woo her, gentle Paris, get her heart,
    My will to her consent is but a part;
    An she agree, within her scope of choice
    Lies my consent and fair according voice.
    This night I hold an old accustom'd feast,
    Whereto I have invited many a guest,
    Such as I love; and you, among the store,
    One more, most welcome, makes my number more.
    At my poor house look to behold this night
    Earth-treading stars that make dark heaven light:
    Such comfort as do lusty young men feel
    When well-apparell'd April on the heel
    Of limping winter treads, even such delight
    Among fresh female buds shall you this night
    Inherit at my house; hear all, all see,
    And like her most whose merit most shall be:
    Which on more view, of many mine being one
    May stand in number, though in reckoning none,
    Come, go with me.
    To Servant, giving a paper
    Go, sirrah, trudge about
    Through fair Verona; find those persons out
    Whose names are written there, and to them say,
    My house and welcome on their pleasure stay.
    Exeunt CAPULET and PARIS
    Servant
    Find them out whose names are written here! It is
    written, that the shoemaker should meddle with his
    yard, and the tailor with his last, the fisher with
    his pencil, and the painter with his nets; but I am
    sent to find those persons whose names are here
    writ, and can never find what names the writing
    person hath here writ. I must to the learned.--In good time.
    Enter BENVOLIO and ROMEO
    BENVOLIO
    Tut, man, one fire burns out another's burning,
    One pain is lessen'd by another's anguish;
    Turn giddy, and be holp by backward turning;
    One desperate grief cures with another's languish:
    Take thou some new infection to thy eye,
    And the rank poison of the old will die.
    ROMEO
    Your plaintain-leaf is excellent for that.
    BENVOLIO
    For what, I pray thee?
    ROMEO
    For your broken shin.
    BENVOLIO
    Why, Romeo, art thou mad?
    ROMEO
    Not mad, but bound more than a mad-man is;
    Shut up in prison, kept without my food,
    Whipp'd and tormented and--God-den, good fellow.
    Servant
    God gi' god-den. I pray, sir, can you read?
    ROMEO
    Ay, mine own fortune in my misery.
    Servant
    Perhaps you have learned it without book: but, I
    pray, can you read any thing you see?
    ROMEO
    Ay, if I know the letters and the language.
    Servant
    Ye say honestly: rest you merry!
    ROMEO
    Stay, fellow; I can read.
    Reads
    'Signior Martino and his wife and daughters;
    County Anselme and his beauteous sisters; the lady
    widow of Vitravio; Signior Placentio and his lovely
    nieces; Mercutio and his brother Valentine; mine
    uncle Capulet, his wife and daughters; my fair niece
    Rosaline; Livia; Signior Valentio and his cousin
    Tybalt, Lucio and the lively Helena.' A fair
    assembly: whither should they come?
    Servant
    Up.
    ROMEO
    Whither?
    Servant
    To supper; to our house.
    ROMEO
    Whose house?
    Servant
    My master's.
    ROMEO
    Indeed, I should have ask'd you that before.
    Servant
    Now I'll tell you without asking: my master is the
    great rich Capulet; and if you be not of the house
    of Montagues, I pray, come and crush a cup of wine.
    Rest you merry!
    Exit
    BENVOLIO
    At this same ancient feast of Capulet's
    Sups the fair Rosaline whom thou so lovest,
    With all the admired beauties of Verona:
    Go thither; and, with unattainted eye,
    Compare her face with some that I shall show,
    And I will make thee think thy swan a crow.
    ROMEO
    When the devout religion of mine eye
    Maintains such falsehood, then turn tears to fires;
    And these, who often drown'd could never die,
    Transparent heretics, be burnt for liars!
    One fairer than my love! the all-seeing sun
    Ne'er saw her match since first the world begun.
    BENVOLIO
    Tut, you saw her fair, none else being by,
    Herself poised with herself in either eye:
    But in that crystal scales let there be weigh'd
    Your lady's love against some other maid
    That I will show you shining at this feast,
    And she shall scant show well that now shows best.
    ROMEO
    I'll go along, no such sight to be shown,
    But to rejoice in splendor of mine own.
    Exeunt
    SCENE III. A room in Capulet's house.
    Enter LADY CAPULET and Nurse
    LADY CAPULET
    Nurse, where's my daughter? call her forth to me.
    Nurse
    Now, by my maidenhead, at twelve year old,
    I bade her come. What, lamb! what, ladybird!
    God forbid! Where's this girl? What, Juliet!
    Enter JULIET
    JULIET
    How now! who calls?
    Nurse
    Your mother.
    JULIET
    Madam, I am here.
    What is your will?
    LADY CAPULET
    This is the matter:--Nurse, give leave awhile,
    We must talk in secret:--nurse, come back again;
    I have remember'd me, thou's hear our counsel.
    Thou know'st my daughter's of a pretty age.
    [/IN
  • ted12;772112 said:
    Ladies and Gentlemen, on a complete non-troll topic, we need to have a forum-wide re-enactment of Romeo and Juliet where everyone reworks their lines on the spot.
    We'd Need a cast list.

    I'm thinking Rather Dashing and Divisionten as Romeo and Juliet, maybe Comrade Pants as Tybalt...

    Does anyone mind if I'm Mercutio?
  • ACT III

    SCENE I. A room in the castle.

    Enter KING CLAUDIUS, QUEEN GERTRUDE, POLONIUS, OPHELIA, ROSENCRANTZ, and GUILDENSTERN
    KING CLAUDIUS
    And can you, by no drift of circumstance,
    Get from him why he puts on this confusion,
    Grating so harshly all his days of quiet
    With turbulent and dangerous lunacy?
    ROSENCRANTZ
    He does confess he feels himself distracted;
    But from what cause he will by no means speak.
    GUILDENSTERN
    Nor do we find him forward to be sounded,
    But, with a crafty madness, keeps aloof,
    When we would bring him on to some confession
    Of his true state.
    QUEEN GERTRUDE
    Did he receive you well?
    ROSENCRANTZ
    Most like a gentleman.
    GUILDENSTERN
    But with much forcing of his disposition.
    ROSENCRANTZ
    Niggard of question; but, of our demands,
    Most free in his reply.
    QUEEN GERTRUDE
    Did you assay him?
    To any pastime?
    ROSENCRANTZ
    Madam, it so fell out, that certain players
    We o'er-raught on the way: of these we told him;
    And there did seem in him a kind of joy
    To hear of it: they are about the court,
    And, as I think, they have already order
    This night to play before him.
    LORD POLONIUS
    'Tis most true:
    And he beseech'd me to entreat your majesties
    To hear and see the matter.
    KING CLAUDIUS
    With all my heart; and it doth much content me
    To hear him so inclined.
    Good gentlemen, give him a further edge,
    And drive his purpose on to these delights.
    ROSENCRANTZ
    We shall, my lord.
    Exeunt ROSENCRANTZ and GUILDENSTERN
    KING CLAUDIUS
    Sweet Gertrude, leave us too;
    For we have closely sent for Hamlet hither,
    That he, as 'twere by accident, may here
    Affront Ophelia:
    Her father and myself, lawful espials,
    Will so bestow ourselves that, seeing, unseen,
    We may of their encounter frankly judge,
    And gather by him, as he is behaved,
    If 't be the affliction of his love or no
    That thus he suffers for.
    QUEEN GERTRUDE
    I shall obey you.
    And for your part, Ophelia, I do wish
    That your good beauties be the happy cause
    Of Hamlet's wildness: so shall I hope your virtues
    Will bring him to his wonted way again,
    To both your honours.
    OPHELIA
    Madam, I wish it may.
    Exit QUEEN GERTRUDE
    LORD POLONIUS
    Ophelia, walk you here. Gracious, so please you,
    We will bestow ourselves.
    To OPHELIA
    Read on this book;
    That show of such an exercise may colour
    Your loneliness. We are oft to blame in this,--
    'Tis too much proved--that with devotion's visage
    And pious action we do sugar o'er
    The devil himself.
    KING CLAUDIUS
    [Aside] O, 'tis too true!
    How smart a lash that speech doth give my conscience!
    The harlot's cheek, beautied with plastering art,
    Is not more ugly to the thing that helps it
    Than is my deed to my most painted word:
    O heavy burthen!
    LORD POLONIUS
    I hear him coming: let's withdraw, my lord.
    Exeunt KING CLAUDIUS and POLONIUS
    Enter HAMLET
    HAMLET
    To be, or not to be: that is the question:
    Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
    The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
    Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
    And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
    No more; and by a sleep to say we end
    The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
    That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
    Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
    To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
    For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
    When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
    Must give us pause: there's the respect
    That makes calamity of so long life;
    For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
    The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
    The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
    The insolence of office and the spurns
    That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
    When he himself might his quietus make
    With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
    To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
    But that the dread of something after death,
    The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
    No traveller returns, puzzles the will
    And makes us rather bear those ills we have
    Than fly to others that we know not of?
    Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
    And thus the native hue of resolution
    Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
    And enterprises of great pith and moment
    With this regard their currents turn awry,
    And lose the name of action.--Soft you now!
    The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
    Be all my sins remember'd.
    OPHELIA
    Good my lord,
    How does your honour for this many a day?
    HAMLET
    I humbly thank you; well, well, well.
    OPHELIA
    My lord, I have remembrances of yours,
    That I have longed long to re-deliver;
    I pray you, now receive them.
    HAMLET
    No, not I;
    I never gave you aught.
    OPHELIA
    My honour'd lord, you know right well you did;
    And, with them, words of so sweet breath composed
    As made the things more rich: their perfume lost,
    Take these again; for to the noble mind
    Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.
    There, my lord.
    HAMLET
    Ha, ha! are you honest?
    OPHELIA
    My lord?
    HAMLET
    Are you fair?
    OPHELIA
    What means your lordship?
    HAMLET
    That if you be honest and fair, your honesty should
    admit no discourse to your beauty.
    OPHELIA
    Could beauty, my lord, have better commerce than
    with honesty?
    HAMLET
    Ay, truly; for the power of beauty will sooner
    transform honesty from what it is to a bawd than the
    force of honesty can translate beauty into his
    likeness: this was sometime a paradox, but now the
    time gives it proof. I did love you once.
    OPHELIA
    Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.
    HAMLET
    You should not have believed me; for virtue cannot
    so inoculate our old stock but we shall relish of
    it: I loved you not.
    OPHELIA
    I was the more deceived.
    HAMLET
    Get thee to a nunnery: why wouldst thou be a
    breeder of sinners? I am myself indifferent honest;
    but yet I could accuse me of such things that it
    were better my mother had not borne me: I am very
    proud, revengeful, ambitious, with more offences at
    my beck than I have thoughts to put them in,
    imagination to give them shape, or time to act them
    in. What should such fellows as I do crawling
    between earth and heaven? We are arrant knaves,
    all; believe none of us. Go thy ways to a nunnery.
    Where's your father?
    OPHELIA
    At home, my lord.
    HAMLET
    Let the doors be shut upon him, that he may play the
    fool no where but in's own house. Farewell.
    OPHELIA
    O, help him, you sweet heavens!
    HAMLET
    If thou dost marry, I'll give thee this plague for
    thy dowry: be thou as chaste as ice, as pure as
    snow, thou shalt not escape calumny. Get thee to a
    nunnery, go: farewell. Or, if thou wilt needs
    marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough
    what monsters you make of them. To a nunnery, go,
    and quickly too. Farewell.
    OPHELIA
    O heavenly powers, restore him!
    HAMLET
    I have heard of your paintings too, well enough; God
    has given you one face, and you make yourselves
    another: you jig, you amble, and you lisp, and
    nick-name God's creatures, and make your wantonness
    your ignorance. Go to, I'll no more on't; it hath
    made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriages:
    those that are married already, all but one, shall
    live; the rest shall keep as they are. To a
    nunnery, go.
    Exit
    OPHELIA
    O, what a noble mind is here o'erthrown!
    The courtier's, soldier's, scholar's, eye, tongue, sword;
    The expectancy and rose of the fair state,
    The glass of fashion and the mould of form,
    The observed of all observers, quite, quite down!
    And I, of ladies most deject and wretched,
    That suck'd the honey of his music vows,
    Now see that noble and most sovereign reason,
    Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh;
    That unmatch'd form and feature of blown youth
    Blasted with ecstasy: O, woe is me,
    To have seen what I have seen, see what I see!
    Re-enter KING CLAUDIUS and POLONIUS
    KING CLAUDIUS
    Love! his affections do not that way tend;
    Nor what he spake, though it lack'd form a little,
    Was not like madness. There's something in his soul,
    O'er which his melancholy sits on brood;
    And I do doubt the hatch and the disclose
    Will be some danger: which for to prevent,
    I have in quick determination
    Thus set it down: he shall with speed to England,
    For the demand of our neglected tribute
    Haply the seas and countries different
    With variable objects shall expel
    This something-settled matter in his heart,
    Whereon his brains still beating puts him thus
    From fashion of himself. What think you on't?
    LORD POLONIUS
    It shall do well: but yet do I believe
    The origin and commencement of his grief
    Sprung from neglected love. How now, Ophelia!
    You need not tell us what Lord Hamlet said;
    We heard it all. My lord, do as you please;
    But, if you hold it fit, after the play
    Let his queen mother all alone entreat him
    To show his grief: let her be round with him;
    And I'll be placed, so please you, in the ear
    Of all their conference. If she find him not,
    To England send him, or confine him where
    Your wisdom best shall think.
    KING CLAUDIUS
    It shall be so:
    Madness in great ones must not unwatch'd go.
    Exeunt
  • OMG!! This is so lame, press f13 to see what I mean... YOLO Biatches
  • TTG needs to make another crap game already, so we can have new things to bitch about.

    They also need to make me a mod.
This discussion has been closed.